C4.

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Song of the chapter Miracle Love by Hozier

I spent the whole Saturday morning tucked into bed. I feel like I complete idiot after running away from Hero Last night. Only my bed came save me from this humiliation right now. I thought about why my immediate instinct was to bolt out. And after thinking my mind can't process it. Hero was just being flirty, not even flirty, friendly and I turned around and ran for the hills. Hoping to change my train of thought, I put on my speaker and play some tunes from my cold day playlist, as the weather suits it and so does my mood right now.

I spread out in my bed and hear Patience by Guns and Roses start to play.

"Woman take it slow it's gonna work itself out fine, all we need it just a little patience"

All of a sudden my eyes begin to prick and tears run down the sides of my eyes onto the blanket. The thought of being in a city so unknown to me, scares the shit out of me.

I take a breath in and out slowly... and again. I need to have confidence that this is the right path for me, a new beginning. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for a reason right?

Just as I get all deep and meaningful with myself, I hear a soft knock at the door. I gather myself up from my bed and put on a white jumper over my black nightie without looking twice in the mirror. I wipe my eyes and take s deep breath to hide any trace of tears.

I swing the door open letting in a cool draft and the beaming rays of sunlight. I look up from the door to see a familiar face. Lewis.

"Hi Maya" He smiles behind his large black hoodie and beanie protecting him from the cold.

"Oh hey Lewis" I attempt to smile but then look down at what i'm wearing and feel slightly red right now. His eyes also follow mine and he laughs in response.

"You left your coat at Joel's last night, I saw it just then when I was leaving" He says handing me my coat through the doorway, my hands brush over his large and cold ones.

"Oh, thank you" I say.

We stand in each other's awkwardness for a moment before he breaks the tension in the air.

"I was gonna mention, a few of us are going to the pub on the corner tonight for live mike night. You're very welcome, i'd be keen to see you" He says in a sort of confidence I struggle to compute with. Without realising I haven't replied I look back at him suddenly.

"Oh i'm not sure, but thank you" I say with a smile. Only because I really am not sure if I want that situation again.

"Well, we will see" He says as he walks down the street waving.

For the next few hours I can't get this stupid pub off my mind. Should I go? Yes! But what about Hero? I embarrassed myself so fucking much in front of him? No I'm not going! But I really should.

I sit down in the hot shower for how long I don't know before deciding I'm going. This time it's going to be the real me. The confident me. Does she still exist?

I get out of the shower and check the time to be 7:36. Shit better get my game on.

I style my hair is curls and put a light amount of makeup on to compliment my features, stupid now I think about it since everyone will be high or drunk and won't notice me anyway. I decide to wear my black jeans, a red bodysuit and my knee high boots, completed with my black leather jacket.

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