long sleeves ; m.yg.

o n e

just do it already.

cut deeper.

you deserve the pain.

yoongi winced slightly as the blade pressed into his scarred arm, already littered with many other cuts. blood speckled the surface of the cut before dripping down his arm. he gently wiped it away with the blood stained tissue, careful not to make a mess. yoongi looked down at his arm, admiring the bright red lines raked across his left arm.

yoongi is a young boy who lives with six of his friends who enjoy making music together. he has severe depression, social anxiety and suicidal thoughts. he would often cut himself when he was feeling overwhelmed, and would also sometimes starve himself for days on end when he wasn't feeling confident about his body image. yoongi, who others perceive as a cold yet innocent young man, was just a lonely, suicidal soul.

"yoong, dinner's ready!" a voice called from outside the bathroom door, making yoongi jump.

"o-okay, coming!" yoongi stuttered back, rapidly cleaning up the tissues surrounding him. he pulled his sleeves down, pocketed his blade and walked out with a fake smile plastered onto his face.

"you okay?" jimin asked, suspicious of yoongi's behaviour. 

"of course, let's go!" yoongi replied quickly, smiling widely. jimin and yoongi walked to the living room where the rest of the members awaited, seven bowls of steaming food on the large mahogany table. all the rest of the boys sat down to eat, staring hungrily at their dinner, but yoongi forced himself not to enjoy the pleasant aroma of jin's cooking. 

jungkook turned the tv on, and everyone turned to watch whatever was on. although yoongi's eyes were on the screen, his mind was far, far away. 

the voices in his head were telling him he was worthless again. they told him he didn't deserve to live, that he didn't deserve the life he had. that he should just kill himself and make everyone's lives better. 

after half an hour of sitting and watching jungkook and taehyung play overwatch, yoongi got bored and got up to 'work on a song'. he stepped into the bathroom, and kneeling in front of the toilet, he shoved two fingers down the back of his throat. 

he leant forwards as he gagged, stomach acid on his lips making him close his eyes. he threw up into the toilet, the contents of his stomach now floating on the surface of the water. yoongi stared down and flushed the toilet, wanting to erase any evidence of what had just happened. 

he walked back to his room feeling light-headed, and flopped onto his bed. 

time for sleep.