long sleeves ; m.yg.

t w o

yoongi groaned as sunlight penetrated his heavy eyelids. he sat up, his hair ruffled and messy.

today was monday, his least favourite day. today meant dance practice.

he got up and got changed into black sweatpants and a black sweater, even though it was quite hot. he couldn't risk any of the others finding out about his self harm. he slid on some trainers and left. luckily he didn't share a room with anyone, meaning he could be alone most of the time. alone time was yoongi's favourite time. 

yoongi trudged into the bathroom, still feeling sleepy. he picked up his razor and made a few more cuts - they weren't too deep, but enough to calm him down a little before dance practice. yoongi stepped out as if nothing had happened.

"five, six, seven, eight," 

yoongi tried to follow the dance instructor's moves, but his mind was in a bad state this morning and he was sweating like crazy. 

"yoongi, wake up, you're interrupting everyone else's dance practice by slacking off!" the dance instructor shouted, snapping yoongi back to reality. he nodded, his lips tightly shut as his arm itched.

after a few more minutes, they took a break. 

"yoongi, dude, what's wrong with you today?" namjoon asked as he sipped a bottle of water before handing it to yoongi.

"i-i guess i'm just tired..." yoongi murmured, blushing at his lame excuse. he tipped the bottle to his lips, his stomach churning. he had skipped breakfast. 

"maybe if you took your jumper off, you wouldn't be so tired and hot." namjoon advised. yoongi's eyes widened as he slightly choked on his water.

"uhm... i-i'm not that hot. i need to use the restroom." yoongi turned and walked away, breaking into a run to get to the bathrooms. once he reached them, he sprinted to the last cubicle and locked himself in, panting heavily. his anxiety was washing over him, giving him tunnel vision. he whimpered, his head pounding and his arm itching. he could barely breathe - he was having an anxiety attack. although he was used to it, it was still scary and he needed an escape.

yoongi pulled the small, thin piece of metal from his pocket and pulled up his sleeve. he pressed the blade down hard, ensuring it would be a deep cut. he dragged the razor across his pale skin, blood immediately rushing to the surface.

he breathed in deeply, enjoying the pain. 

am i crazy?

yes, yes you are.