long sleeves ; m.yg.

t h r e e

not good enough.

the three words lingered in his head, sending subtle shivers down his protruding spine.

he fumbled with the pills in his hand, his heart beating fast. this was it. 

this was his chance to be free.

but a sharp knock on the door made him jump, causing him to drop the many pills in his shaking hands. 

"yoongi! we have practice, what are you doing in there? you're not still asleep, are you? what was that noise?" jin called from the other side of the door. 

"oh uh- c-coming!" yoongi replied, hastily pouring the pills back into the bottle and in his drawer.

he burst out the door. he had completely forgotten about practice this morning, and had even planned to take his own life. he put on his best fake smile as he exited his room, jin returning a genuine smile. 

"ah, yoongi, why do you always wear jumpers on days as hot as this?" jin asked casually, making yoongi's heart stop for a second.

"oh just... you know... i'm cold?" he replied, mentally smacking himself. jin laughed, his voice reminding yoongi of a windshield wiper.

"did you eat breakfast? you didn't join us this morning. not that you usually do anyway..." jin trailed off, although he didn't seem too suspicious. 

"oh i ate in my room, i woke up early to work on my song..." yoongi muttered, hoping it passed for an adequate excuse. jin simply nodded, not seeming to notice yoongi's awkward behaviour.

dance class was, like always, a complete embarrassment for yoongi. he couldn't get the moves right, which resulted in the instructor shouting at him yet again. 

you idiot. yoongi shivered as the voice came back into his head.

you can't do anything right, can you? you're so much more worthless than you think... you really are such a waste of space.

yoongi squeezed his eyes shut, trying to rid his head of the cold, drooping voice, but to no avail.

and what about the other boys? how do you think they feel, having a monster like you around? surprising, really, that they haven't kicked you out yet. it's hard to understand how they put up with you, seeing as you're useless. 

he pulled his hands up to his head, gripping his hair in between his fingers, desperately trying to get the voice to leave his shaking head. he let out a silent whimper.

you really should just die, you know. and why wait to die, when you could do it right now? why waste your time, waiting for something to happen, when you could just kill yourself?

do it, yoongi. trust me. no one will even notice. do it.

do it.