Lone Performer

The Photograph

SEVENTEEN is back. The boys have been promoting again. They would never be the same, but it was okay. Their new album, Always in My Heart, was one of Seventeen's biggest hits.

Soonyoung still felt lonely, all of them did. But not always. The dancer picked up one habit. On the day of the accident, the performance team took a picture. It was the last photo taken of Soonyoung's three friends. Every time Seventeen performs, Soonyoung keeps that photograph in his pocket.

The topic has come up a few times.

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Soonyoung was on a variety show. More like a reality show. The show had a bunch of teens or young adults, they were trying to make it big. Soonyoung was a dance trainer. When he was first told about the invitation, excitement was an understatement to describe Soonyoung's feelings. Soonyoung always wanted to do something like this after being a special judge and watching Minghao be a dance mentor.

It was stressful for the trainees. They worked hard and just finished eliminations the day before. The mentors came to speak and congratulate the remaining trainees. They shared encouragement to keep up the good work.

One of Soonyoung's fellow mentors asked the trainees, "Why do you perform? Who are you performing for? Ponder these questions."

The trainees asked themselves these questions. Soonyoung was also pondering, along with his fellow trainers. One of the vocal trainers was the first to speak up. 

"I became a performer because it was my dream. I was not going to let it go. It was hard, but worth it. I sing because it is my pride and joy. I first started to perform for myself. To accomplish my dream. I also performed for my parents, who have supported me from the very beginning. Now, I still perform for them, but also fans who support me in my dreams."

One by one all the mentors shared. It eventually came to Soonyoung's turn. He'd been stressing about what to say. He was not prepared, but the words flowed smoothly out his mouth.

"I honestly don't know when I wanted to become a performer. I think becoming an idol was the best decision of my life. I met great friends and got to work on my talents and learned new ones. I got to challenge myself but had fun at the same time. I find happiness in dancing and singing.

"I cannot really say who I used to perform for. Maybe it was my parents, myself, or my fans. But I can say who I perform for now. Three people really close to me died. Their deaths were unsuspected. They loved to dance. It was there passion just as much as it is mine. I dance for them. I will not let their passion die just because they're not here anymore."

Soonyoung did not cry. It was not supposed to be sad, yet he could see some of the trainees shed tears. What he said was the truth. Soonyoung danced for his friends.

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Soonyoung was on another reality show. This one, however, had nothing to do with dancing or idols. It was a bunch of celebrities competing in challenges. Soonyoung happened to be one of them. He's had a great time. It was full of laughter, but also screams. From both frustration and fear.

This was one of the games. It was like a get to know you game or a how well do you know each other game. The contestants were asked a question about another member. The answers were multiple choice. One point for every question correctly answered. Soonyoung was definitely not winning the game, but at least he wasn't in last place. The next question was for a middle-aged singer. The question was based on Soonyoung.

What item does Hoshi have on him every concert?

"Microphone," a woman said. It made everyone burst out in laughter. Unfortunately, a microphone was not one of the options.

A bracelet

A photograph

An origami star

A keychain

"This is too difficult," the old singer complained. The other contestants started to discuss amongst themselves.

"Hoshi means star in Japanese," one said. Another person added, "Doesn't SEVENTEEN all have matching bracelets?" The question was directed at Sooyoung, who wasn't allowed to speak, so he just shrugged.

"No, they all wear rings." Everyone went to look at Soonyoung's hands. He quickly covered them up.

Time was up. The man answered a keychain. He got it wrong.

"What's the answer?" Everyone asked.

"Well," Soonyoung started, "I didn't start carrying it around until about a year ago. The answer is a photo."

"What? Explain. Explain."

"About a year and a half ago, three of my friends died. Before their deaths, all of us took a picture. Now, I always have it in my pocket when I perform. I actually have it on me right now." Soonyoung pulled out the photo from his pocket. I was unfolded it and showed everyone.

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That photograph was one of Soonyoung's most prized possessions. It is his screensaver and he printed it out to keep a folded version with him during concerts.

He keeps it with him because it makes him less lonely. It symbolizes him not performing alone. He's dancing for his friends. Soonyoung does not just perform for himself, but for the performance team.