ilusm.

ii.

......

it was yet again another tiring monday. and here finn was, seated in the back of the AP Physics class that he just so happened to share with millie. and if that wasn't ironic enough, maybe the fact that this was the class where they first met and fell inlove is.

except, now, instead of shooting and receiving funny faces from across the room, it felt like old times again.

just admiring the brunette from afar with his chin in the center of his palm and bathing in the inescapable dread that was loneliness.

she cut her hair again.

it's the small things that comes back to mind. how the lingering memory of her once mentioning to him how she would love to have a pixie cut, but not having enough confidence to hitting differently now.

she's becoming more confident in herself.

and with that thought, finn smiled softly. just last friday was her hair up to her elbow. and now it was at a lovely shoulder length.

if they were still together or even on talking terms finn would maybe embrace the girl. tell her how beautiful her new hairstyle looks on her and how it just fits her. tell her how proud he is of her.

but that isn't his job anymore, and it sure does seem that the lucky classmate seated next to her is doing just as well as he would.

and with all of these thoughts bouncing off of the imaginary walls inside his head he can already sense the extremely familiar buildup in the back of his throat. so with that final thought he manages to force his eyes and thoughts away from her. quickly discarding a couple of petals that found their way onto the soft front of his palm, he took focus onto the chalkboard ahead of him.

if he's going to die he at least wants to go out with good grades.

-

for the majority of the period, finn had actually managed to focus on his studies.

well, that was until mr. clarke just had to announce a project that would count as the final grade of the semester. and how he would be the one to choose the partners this time.

of course finn didn't think much of it, the odds of being millie's partner was 1 out of 20. so surely they wouldn't be partners, right?

wrong.

it was right up there, displayed proudly up on the projector for the whole world to see.
"Millie Brown and Finn Wolfhard"

and with that, finn suddenly found it impossible to even glance in millie's direction. (as if he hadn't been staring at her earlier.) he felt sick. the same queasy feeling he always gets nowadays was stronger than ever and the suddenly scratchy petals building up in the back of his throat were doubling.

it felt like ages before he finally had the strength to look at millie. but once he finally was, it seems she had already been looking at him.

and, boy, what that did to him.

it all felt like slow motion. the soft smile that was now gracing her pink lips and the infamous dimple that finn had always adored was showing proudly.

something else she was insecure about.

he could swear there were angels singing in the background, and was that light shining down perfectly on her always there? her eyes were crinkled on the ends as her head bowed forward slightly in a friendly nod.

millie, millie, millie.
that seemed to be all finn could think about suddenly.

so with a sharp breath of air and a quick wave of his fingers, he quickly stood up and rushed out of the classroom. looking desperately for the toilets with a pale hand clutched tightly over his mouth.

he just couldn't catch a break could he?

six days.

-

i finally forced my bitchass to write a chapter.

i'm gonna try my best to update this book as frequently as possible.
(watch that nEVER happen smh)

anywho thanks for reading! this chapter was pretty fun to write actually.

-ellie