𝐁𝐀𝐆 𝐎𝐅 𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒 | mercy on me, would you please spare me tonight.
In a different life, Tabitha Ventrix would've been the purest of angels, harmless to anyone.
In reality, she was nothing of the sort; a weapon against the world. She wasn't a...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
cut off one head . . . ━━━━━CHAPTER FIVE, the fifth step in tabitha ventrix's downfall.
IT SEEMED AS IF SHE WAS DOOMED FROM THE START. Tabitha Ventrix, made of stars and stardust and violence, was never meant to be happy. Tabitha Ventrix was never meant to be happy, that much was obvious. Thanos be damned, no matter how hard he tried to ingrain her the belief that being selfish is the only way to live and be truly happy, Tabitha Ventrix did not believe she was ever meant to be happy.
It seemed as if she was doomed from the start. Ever since she fell from the sky in October of 1928, she was only meant to feel pain. Tabitha Ventrix was only meant to feel pain; ever since the first moment she laid eyes on Raymond Miller, it was as if the stars aligned in just a way to make her fall for him and, inevitably, kill for him.
It seemed as if she was doomed from the start. She hovered dangerously close to the stars—stars that were close, too close to exploding into beautifully tragic supernovas. Tabitha Ventrix was made of stars that were nearing extinction, ready to explode into stardust and pits and pieces of Tabitha herself. She was a ticking time bomb, and it was obvious to everyone but herself.
It seemed as if she was doomed from the start. As the stars that made up Tabitha's bones and the stardust that made up Tabitha's soul and the violence that made up Tabitha's bloodline finally came to their timely demise, the broken pieces of Tabitha Ventrix scattered across the Universe and as HYDRA filled the holes of her broken body, it seemed as if she was doomed from the start.
ONCE UPON A TIME, not so long ago, a monster was created. Born from the ashes of order and control, born from the rush of seeing fear in the eyes of the person just killed, a monster was created. Falling from the sky didn't hinder the future, it only put it into place. So as the monster stalked it's prey and became a part of something bigger than them, stronger than them, faster than them, the prey became weak with emotions.
The monster was no ghost or zombie or werewolf; no, it was something much worse than that and the monster who killed and maimed and harmed and kidnapped took the form of one Raymond Miller. And Raymond Miller was gone; dead. Raymond Miller was gone and with him he took a piece of Tabitha. Raymond Miller was gone and that was Tabitha Ventrix's downfall.
Tabitha was haunted by nightmares; nightmares of the past and the present and the future. Nightmares about her time spent with Thanos, which seemed like a distant memory to her now. Nightmares about Raymond kissing her goodbye, her rose-gold colored glasses cracking and breaking just as her heart. Nightmares about time that has not yet been lived, which scared her the most; Tabitha getting kidnapped, her screams that mingled with a one James Barnes, and a life she could've lived in peace stolen from her arms (just as she would be).
She mourned for months, years. December 1931 was the last time she was truly happy and she stopped showing up to work; Mr. Bradbury was worried about the girl he had come to see as a daughter, checking up on her periodically and tilting his head, expressing his pity and upset feelings that Tabitha hated. She hated when people expressed their pity; it made her feel weak and as if she was always like this.
1931 came and went, along with the pity and upset feelings she was given instead of true comfort and happiness; instead of Raymond.
Of course, she heard that things were supposed to get worse before they got better and that things were supposed to get better, but when you don't know anything outside of that person, it's hard for you to get better. It seemed impossible for Tabitha to reach a state where she felt truly happy. Despite her past and the rules still ingrained in her,
(never show weakness; weakness is what gets you killed; weakness is why you lost him)
and her trying to turn her back on her trauma,
(the first time you turned your back you got your first scar and now you scare people because who wants to know someone with a scar down their face? you have a prosthetic limb because of how you turned your back and you can never let anyone know because they'll throw you in the psych ward—how do you have this? how do you have this? how are you like this? where are you from—)
it came back to bite her in the ass.
(Well if the punishment fits the crime.)
(The punishment fit the crime; in fact, the punishment should've been more; why just lose one person when you've caused so many others to lose the ones they love? Why does it only matter when you lose him?)
Tabitha lived like this day in and day out; falling asleep with tears staining her pillowcase, her rose gold colored glasses cracked and the shards cutting her eyes, blood flooding her vision
(maybe that's why she didn't notice her window was open)
and submerging her sense twenty-four seven.
(Tabitha look to the window look to the window please please please look to the window don't you see the shadow? Don't you see him? Don't you don't you don't you—)
As Tabitha laid in her bed, she sighed and rubbed her eyes. "God, I hate this." She turned on her side, facing the wall, facing away from the window,
(please please please look to the window Tabitha maybe if you do this would be different please—)
and sighed once more. She shut her eyes for the night, hoping to whatever being up there that she could finally sleep peacefully. But, her luck had seemingly run out—did she even have any in the first place?—and her sleep was riddled with night terrors.
Night terrors about her time spent with Thanos, a distant memory, albeit still gruesome and draining. Night terrors about Raymond kissing her goodbye, about Raymond saying hello to her for the firs time, about Raymond still being there in front of her, smirking at her—
(he's too clear to be a night terror, Tabitha, Tabitha please. Tabitha please, focus focus focus, this isn't a night terror, this is real life—!)
—And as her mouth opened in a silent scream, step five was complete.
✪✪✪
. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ CARO SPEAKS ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
