timeless uncertainty

me x3

february third two-thousand-and-nineteen 

get me out of this house. 

just let me pack up and leave.

scream after scream.

hands over my head.

"i surrender" she trembled out.

"i am selfish" she repeats.

"i am greedy.

i am just like my liar of a mother.

i care only for myself.

i dont care about my work,

or school, or the people around me and their feelings."

breathe.

"only me, me, me, me."

she is me.

and i will eat up all the things that you tell me.

i will not think twice about the outcome that it will have on my conscious, 

i will just run and hide. 

throw a tantrum,

as you put it.

i do not like how you take up after your son,

how he takes up for you.

me and you might bond more than him and i do,

but your words dig deeper than his ever do.

he is a stranger to me.

his love is foreign and distance.

as for you,

you are always home.

i found comfort in the home that you made.

i always thought that home was where your love was.

your love has become cold as the days go by.

the older we both get, i realize how different you treat me. 

i am out of your control.

and you hate it.

this house is now cold 

and i am not who you wanted me to be.

who you want me to be, 

well,

she would never want to leave this house.

but me 

i am screaming,

crying..

begging

get me out over this house.