The First Queen *Sample Only*

Chapter 19

When I returned to the palace my guards and maids could tell something was wrong. As I walked past James he moved like he was about to reach out to me, but thought better of it and stayed away. I wondered what he would've said or done if there hadn't been another attentive guard beside him. He always seemed to have the right words in my worst moments. My maids behaved similarly saying nothing, but Lydia asked James to fetch me something to drink, like they were all trying to solve the problem on their own. Truth be told, I was grateful they didn't grill me about my emotions because I had no idea what to tell them or how much I was even allowed to tell them. I didn't know what I could say about the former king and queen without offending and if my actions at the manor would get me in some kind of trouble.

After a few minutes there was a knock on the door and I was offered beer or wine. The smell of beer reminded me of my old owner and his vulgar ways so I took the goblet of wine and drank the entire portion in a few gulps before I asked for another. The wine was wonderful, tasting so much better than the potato water I had grown so used to. I wanted to drink it all night long. My maids looked moderately stunned, but Lydia bowed her head in compliance and returned to James with her request. Jasmine said nothing, busying herself with cleaning my spotless room and Isabelle picked up our stitching from the previous days with a timid smile, offering me my botched work.

I stitched with Isabelle for a couple hours and when my mind became too loud with too many unanswered questions spinning in it I would drink more wine. Fretting over the former queen's words would not solve any mystery that the king kept hidden and regretting my actions would not change them. Sure, they would label me as a brute but who in this palace hadn't? So I chose to enjoy my wine until my brain felt fuzzy within my skull and my eyes drooped with relaxed exhaustion. I drank until I stopped noticing the worried glances my maids shot each other every time I picked up my goblet and I lost track of how many times James had delivered more pitchers. I had never been drunk before, but it felt lovely right now. It seemed to be exactly what I needed.

Hours later Lydia indicated that I should change into my evening gown and have my hair redone. I just scoffed at her, feeling like my old self, like the woman I kept hidden whenever I was inside this grand place. I told her that I would be fine in my day dress with my frizzy hair. She appeared anxious at my refusal, but curtsied in agreement and allowed me to stitch until James announced that dinner was ready. I let out a sigh that was close to theatrical in protest, but managed to get to my feet and over to the door.

"Are we sure she should be going to meet with the king at all?" James asked warily, ignoring me to speak only to my maids.

"No, we aren't sure." Lydia retorted, "But we are not going to be the ones to deny the king his wishes. Are you?"

James examined my face in defeat, then extended his elbow to me, "Come Queen Willow."

I was delighted to be walking with James, though I stumbled so often that he slid his arm around my waist just to keep me upright. I was amused by the warm feeling in my body, but it seemed that I was the only one who thought it was funny because James seemed concerned. And his expression was mirrored on the other faces that we passed, even on the guards who announced my arrival into the dining hall. I felt a little bad at that, I didn't intend to make anyone feel uncomfortable. I just wanted to feel like myself again.

But the only person who didn't look upset was the king. He didn't look concerned at all when he saw me standing in the door way with James's arm still wrapped tightly around my waist. He looked furious and he made a noise that sounded animalistic which caused James to let me go immediately. At the release of support I staggered and stumbled until I tipped into my seat, giggling like a child to myself. There, my attention was taken off the king and James and zeroed in directly on the food. I hadn't realized I was starving, but now I felt like I could eat everything in sight. It all looked so wonderful and smelt so amazing.