Secrets of the Pier

Chapter Three: Dreams and Memories

As soon as I was under the smooth covers of my bed, I started to cry. I just felt so empty inside. Like something was missing- a piece of me almost. She was my best friend and losing her made my heart feel shallow. Amidst the tears, I squeezed my eyes shut. I had to sleep. I had to escape from all this. And I didn't want to go crazy. Everytime I closed my eyes, I saw darkness- loneliness. But as the night drew on, I slowly drifted off into a deep sleep.

    Hands pounding on wood. Thump, thump, thump. Feet kicking against the cold surface, centimeters above them. It's dark in here. And cold, oh so cold. A room with a short, narrow floor- but a floor longer and wider than its body. With a low ceiling, just inches above it. Help me. A lot of help me's. And a lot of shouting. "I'm... aliv-" I practically jumped out of my bed and flung my eyes open. I stretched my arms and legs out, as far as they would reach. I sighed with relief and took a deep breath even though my heart was still pounding. You're not still in that room. It was just a nightmare.

    "Raaaacheeell!! Breakfast!!!" At this point I practically fell off my bed. My dad's loud voice quickly whipped me back into alert mode. It took a second to realize he was only calling me down for breakfast.

    "Coming!!!" I shouted so he would shut up. Was that... dream... a memory? Shaking my head, I quickly threw on some jeans and a t-shirt and hurried down stairs. As I wound around the corner leading to our kitchen, it hit me: Music blaring. "Summer" by Calvin Harris. Speeding, definitely speeding. Through downtown St. Joe. Oh, and in that crappy powder blue Volkswagen Convertible. The wind is rushing on my face, my shoulders. And we have those stupid sunglasses on, Ava and me. The sun is hot and bright, there's not a cloud in the sky. Ava's screaming now: "Graduation babyyyy!! Ready t-"

"Ready to eat?! Rachel! Rachel! Snap out of it!" My mom is snapping her fingers in front my face. I opened my eyes and looked around. I was in the middle of my kitchen.

"How long have I been just standing here for?!" I scratched my head.

"Like three minutes- are you okay?"

"Yeah- I- I- think I just got a memory..."

Mom looked excited. "Of what??"

"I don't know... I think it was right after graduation... Ava and I were driving downtown. In Ava's car. And we were listening to music with sunglasses on. Ava said something about graduation and being ready..."

"Ready to what?" My mom leaned in closer.

"I don't know, you interrupted me before she could finish her sentence!"

"Oh well, the memories should all come back soon anyways. Let's eat."

I grabbed a plate and put some of the eggs my mom just made on it. The first meal since Ava's death.

The remainder of the day felt really freaking long. I got a couple more memories, but they were all about the time leading up to the pier, not when we were actually on the pier about to jump. However, I could confidently say that I knew pretty much everything leading up to the pier. I knew the memories were inside of me. But something, whether it be fear or sadness was holding me back from getting to them. And I also wasn't completely sure that I wanted them.