Weekly Training Sessions.

Lesson 10: The Art Of Kindness And Humility.

So, I was going to talk about dealing with sources, but here we go again… Tell you what, if you could really use information on how to deal with sources, PM me and I’ll hook ya up. It is on my to-do-list, but has slipped lower on my priority list as of right now.

So, today we are talking about the art of kindness and humility, because in debates, it truly is an art. Think about it, you’ve got this atheist (or person of another religion) telling you you’re wrong, stupid, ignorant, superstitious, narcissist, gullible, blind, ect… The list could reach the sun honestly, but it can’t touch the son (just had to throw that in there lol).

Now the Bible says we are supposed to be kind and humble, but how do you do that in the face of unfair treatment without essentially becoming a doormat? First I think we need to understand the benefits of being the ‘underdog’.

1: Those who seek to destroy us only bring us more attention.

One thing I’ve learned in the past, it’s this; you must look at the benefits while you are in the trial.

Now I don’t ever tell the person I’m debating with about those benefits, I just remind myself of them because it makes the whole situation more amusing and it becomes incredibly easy to react kindly.

The way I discovered the first benefit was during a ‘discussion’ with a Muslim (a word of warning, be extremely careful when talking to Muslims, they are very passionate about their beliefs).

Now I, unfortunately, had no one to give me this warning, and so I said some stuff a little carelessly, and the next thing I knew, I had two Muslims chewing me out.

By the time I got home from work that day, I had some 50+ messages about how they were going to destroy my reputation and reveal me as the ‘anti-human, Islamophobe (or whatever they called it), ect’ much of which I shall never repeat.

Now I am not going to say I handled the whole thing very well, because I didn’t. I didn’t flip out at them, but I still wasn’t very wise with my words. Eventually I sorted things out with one of them, but the other I never heard from again.

But while this was all going on, and they were breathing threats and saying how they were going to destroy me, I realized that in making such a big deal about it, they were actually bringing more attention to my page. Now this does not mean that we should go out and purposely make enemies, but it is to say that we don’t need to get wound-up over a couple of hate-messages.

You have prepared for me a table, in the presence of my enemies… ~Psalm 23:5

2: We make friends through kindness.

Over my many discussions with atheists, I have made two kinds of friends; The reasonable atheists who are somewhat neutral in the discussions, and the Christians who are on your side.

I have two of these atheist friends, who are very reasonable, and will actually confront their fellow atheists when they’ve got things wrong, or even when they are being impolite.

Now here’s where it gets a bit funny, in the past I have made a point not to defend myself (because it’s not me that I am there to defend), and what I discovered is that once you have enough friends, they will step in and defend you for you. This is extremely stratigic for two reasons;

1: It’s an outside perspective stepping in, therefore the atheist is more likely to listen.

2: It assures that you are not becoming prideful, and the atheist+ anyone watching will notice that.

3: Being kind no matter what makes it impossible for atheists to justify their lack of kindness.

When an atheist is getting overly disrespectful, yet you have been 100% kind (beyond what they deserve), you can call them out on it. But only if you are absolutely certain that you have not given them anything against you.

Often times I’ve done this, when an atheist is being overly rude and the discussion is more of a mudslinging contest than a debate, I just say; ‘Hey, don’t treat me like that. I have been completely respectful this whole time, and I expect you to treat me with the same respect I’ve given you.’

I have used this tactic well over a dozen times, and only once has someone not calmed right down. It was actually kind of funny, because, while I don’t recall the entire conversation, he said something like this; "You are saying that you’re smarter than me."

Me (paraphrased): So this is a matter of reputation then?
By the way, I have never said I am smarter than you, nor have I tried to give that impression.

After that he was silent. So the point of this is that we must act respectable, if we are to command respect. The moment that we say or do anything unkind, even if it has been earned 10x over, they will be able to justify their disrespect.

If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the LORD will reward you. ~Proverbs 25:21-22 (NIV)

4: Be mindful of Who we are to represent.

For a long while, I had the misconception that it was my own reputation I was playing with. I took it very seriously, because I plan to continue using this author name, and I don’t want to be responsible for driving someone further from God.

I never really realized my error in thinking until I was starting up this group. I was a bit stressed out because I was thinking; if these people screw up, that reflects directly on my reputation. The fact that I am even doing this is like lending someone else my reputation to play with.

So I was doing my devotions, and I was asking God ‘how do I make sure people take this seriously, how do I make them understand the risk I’m taking?’

God put me in my place real quick, responding with this; ‘When did it become your reputation? Am I not your leader, have I not lent you my reputation to fool around with? Do you really think you are taking a risk?’

Ouch. That opened my eyes real fast. I spent the next two weeks relearning how to put everything back in God’s hands, and figuring out again where my place is.

I think this is something we all need to be better at remembering and believing; we are playing with God’s reputation. So many times, I’ve been chatting with atheists and stuff comes up that Christians did, that turned them away from God.

We are responsible for representing God, and that should never be handled lightly. That is why we must use wisdom, not a sharp tongue, and we must react with pure love, not self-righteous ‘love’.

Homework!
Okay y'all, I have a lot of stuff in mind, but school is calming down for most of y’all, so I think you can handle it. This must all be complete by Saturday. 😉

-Go back to lesson 1 and do it again. It is extremely important to keep renewing our love for people.

-The Abide Journal is out, and I’ve already released the first 3 days. From here on I want you guys to keep up with it.

-Watch ‘The Banana Man’ on youtube, by Livingwaters. It's about a man named Ray Comfort.

Buddy chats;
This week there won’t be any mandatory chats, but please keep in contact with your buddies, it’s very crucial to stay connected in the group.

Music;
-Reckless Love by Cory Asbury
-O God Forgive Us by For King&Country
-Let Them See You by Colton Dixon
-More Of You by Colton Dixon

That’s all! I love you guys! Enjoy your week!