One Direction Bromance One-Shots

Broken Wings ~ Niam

Contains:

[x] Cursing

[x] Possible Triggers

"It will get better - it always gets better. Life wouldn't put you through something you can't handle."

He tried to smile - tried to laugh and be the bubbly blond everyone saw him as. But that wasn't him; that would never be him.

Truth be told, Niall didn't know why he was unhappy. He didn't know why he was practically drowning in his own self-pity. Maybe it was guilt, maybe it was jealousy - maybe it was something completely different. Something that Niall couldn't explain.

Even as a nineteen-year-old, Niall was so innocent - he was, in lack of a better word, growing up too fast. Things like death and whatnot were confusing to him. He didn't understand why the world had to be so cruel - why words had to hurt so much. He hardly understood why best friends could be like strangers just as much as strangers could be like best friends. He didn't understand why people had to change so drastically - while effecting your own life as well.

When his cousin Tommy comitted suicide when Niall was around fifteen, he didn't get it - he didn't get why anyone would want to take their own life. Why anyone would want to leave everyone who cared - everyone who ever loved them, but maybe didn't know how to show it.

He assumed he would never know why. Especially not now.

Especially not while he had that bottle of pills in his hand.

He tried to come up with excuses - lies, that he could tell himself, to take away the guilt. Something, anything, to make this whole thing easier.

He tried to think that no one cared. But he knew they did - even if there were people who didn't like him, he still had well over a million fans. His family - mum, dad, and older brother Greg - would be absolutely crushed. The boys, his band mates that he loved with all of his heart - what would they think if they found him motionless, dead on the floor?

He tried to think that he deserved this - tried to convince himself that he had done nothing with his life. That was probably the worst one. He was an inspiration to many; he could clearly remember a girl telling him that he saved her life. He was the one who convinced a girl to stop harming herself. He meant so much to people - as an idol, as a son, as a brother, as a best mate. He was apart of the most famous boyband in the world. Obviously, people cared.

So, why was he drowning in this shame? Why was he sitting in the bath, staring at a bottle of anti-depressants, ready to end it all? Why did he have dreams of death?

Why?

He thought he should say goodbye. But to who? Certainly, one of the boys.

Not Harry - Niall would never put something like this on someone like Harry. If he did, and Harry was the one to find him dead, the curly-haired lad would never forgive himself - the memories would haunt him forever. He would constantly think he could've stopped his Irish friend.

When, in reality, Niall couldn't be saved. It was too late - it had been for a while. This, was going to happen. Tonight.

Him and Louis had never been particularly close. Of course, they were best friends, but not the kind of best friends that were so close that they would share their deepest secrets. They would joke around so much; reality didn't seem to be one of Lou's main priorities.

Zayn was way too over-protective, Niall thought. He would be screaming at him not to do it, while running to his mate's flat at the same time. Niall liked to think that Zayn babied everyone; and he did - he just babied Niall more than anyone else. So, he was certainly out.