One Direction Bromance One-Shots

Eyes Like a Looking Glass ~ Ziall

Do not read if eating disorders or negative thought-things are a trigger for you - and remember; if you ever need someone, I'm here.

Niall shuddered as the salty water made its' way down his throat.

One more swallow, the little voice in his head whispered. Just one more, and the cup will be empty. And this will all be worth it once you're skinny.

At that thought, Niall gulped down the rest of the water - leaving nothing but a tiny bit of salt at the bottom of the glass left, and the little bit on the rim. He set it back on the counter, and a shiver as sharp as a razor ran all the way from his stomach to his scalp. He was going numb as he made his way into the bathroom, and to the scale. He drew in a sharp breath, and stepped on - closing his eyes as he braced himself.

134.7

Niall winced. He was more than ten pounds under his target weight for his height. It was unhealthy, but it still wasn't enough. He was the skinniest out of everyone in the band, but he certainly didn't feel like it.

He couldn't wait until the effects of the saltwater kicked in.

Before it could, however, there was a knock at the door of his flat. He groaned. Why now, of all times, did there have to be a visitor?

As soon as he opened the door, he was engulfed in a smoke-scented hug. He grimanced.

Zayn pulled away, and Niall saw that his face was wrenched, "Why the hell do you smell so salty?"

So, it wasn't just Niall who noticed the overwhelming scent in the air. He let out a forced chuckle, "Oh, you know me - always eating."

It was at least partially true. Niall had spent a good portion of his morning shoving sweets of different kinds of sweets, in order to have some sort of affect on himself when he began purging. Of course, none of them had been salty - but, what else could he say; he was trying to vomit so he could be skinnier? That wouldn't be a lie, but Zayn definitely wouldn't see the logic in that. He would more likely than not send Niall to the hospital for medical help.

Niall didn't need medical help; he needed to be skinnier.

Shaking those thoughts away, he pushed open the door to let Zayn inside. There goes the afternoon, he thought bitterly.

"So," Zayn jumped on the couch, and grinned at Niall. "What have you been up to?"

Oh, you know. Eating pounds and pounds of junk food and throwing it up later. Reading through hate mail telling me to kill myself. Missing you lads like crazy but being too stupidly shy to call and ask you guys to hang out. Hating my accent, hating my stomach, hating my hair, hating my looks - hating every single inch of my body. Thinking everyone in the world wants me to perish. Crying myself to sleep every single night because I can't be perfect like you, Liam, Harry, or Louis. Hating the fact that no one will ever love me because-

Niall stopped himself there. He clenched his fist behind his back so Zayn could see him digging his nails into the palm of his hand.

He plastered on a fake smile, "Nothing much. How about you?"

Zayn shrugged, "Well, I've been hanging out with the rest of the lads a little. Me and Perrie broke up the other day, too."

Niall grimanced, "Sorry to hear that."

I think...

"It's whatever, I guess. It was a mutual decision - we've both been busy, what with the bands and all. Added that, she told me she's had eyes for someone else for a while now..."

Ouch. Niall knew what that meant.

"Wow, mate," he muttered, a blush suddenly creeping up on his already rosy cheeks. He felt oddly ashamed of himself - or, rather, because he was so shameless for being happy that Zayn had just been cheated on. "That...that blows. You gon' be okay?"

Niall winced at his heavy accent, but Zayn just nodded, "Yeah. I'll be fine. It doesn't matter - to be fair, I've been crushing on someone else for a bit, too. So, whatever."

Niall's stomach grumbled at him - but he wasn't hungry, oh no, it was quite the opposite.

He lurched up from the couch, and darted to the bathroom - hardly making it in time. He fell to the ground, bashing his bony knees on the tile flooring, and bent his head over the toliet bowl - gasping and choking before the contents of his stomach were emptied.

Zayn could only stand in the doorway; staring at his best mate in content, almost getting sick himself as he watched the scene unfold. 

Niall was still on the floor when Zayn whispered, "...Niall?"

Niall couldn't answer; he was in tears. The boy he loved more than anything had just seen him in one of his weakest moments. He had been badly humiliated, that much he could not deny. Why did it have to be Zayn, of all people, that had to see that?

Niall sobbed, "Fuck off, Zayn!"

Zayn's face twisted - Niall had never sworn at him, ever. He didn't know what to do; he didn't like seeing Niall like this; but what was he supposed to do?

When Zayn didn't move from his spot, Niall got angry, "Get the hell out!"

Zayn took a small step closer, and dropped to his knees beside Niall, who was still in hysterics. He pulled the smaller boy into his arms, and tried not to wince as Niall nearly smacked him in the face due to his flailing.

"Niall," Zayn spoke softly, holding him tighter as he squirmed this way and that. "What is the matter? Everyone gets sick; it's not that big of a deal."

"It is because I did it on purpose!" Niall cried, hitting Zayn's chest in an attempt to push him away. Zayn winced - as small as Niall was, his fists caused a lot of damage. "Would you ever do that?! NO, because you're just too god damn perfect and I can't stand it!"

Zayn frowned, "You...threw up...on purpose?"

Niall was seething, "Yes! I did! I have been, for months!"

For a few seconds, they sat in silence - until, that is, Niall looked up, and Zayn's lips were on his faster than he could comprehend.

Because, in Niall's eyes, he was horrendous.

But in Zayn's eyes, he was the most perfect person on the planet.