𝔩𝔞𝔳𝔢𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔯 𝔩𝔬𝔩𝔩𝔦𝔭𝔬𝔭𝔰 (𝔰𝔥𝔲𝔮𝔦) ✓

substituting addictions

one

third person pov

the taste of lavender had almost become an addiction at this point, the sweet base of the lollipop infused with the aroma of the comforting herb. a candy with a light lilac tint, the lollipops were custom made for her by her best friend, miyeon, who helps her parents run a candy store.

as yuqi swirls her tongue around her lollipop, she flips open her binder and starts to take notes. the teacher is explaining something about pythagorean theorem and how to find the hypotenuse, and yuqi does her best to scribble down every word she can. if she wants to make honour roll this semester, she has to get at least a 87 on this test. and yes, she calculated.

the shrill sound of the bell signals the end of yet another stressful period, and the beginning of lunch break. yuqi pulls out her phone, texting miyeon to meet her on the roof, their favourite hangout spot. when a 'got it!' appears on her screen, yuqi slings her black backpack over her shoulders, crunching part of her lollipop as she slips on her headphones. she taps on a song she recorded as part of a school project, 'latata'. that was honestly one of the least stressful projects she had ever done, thanks to their groups natural harmonization and dance ability. hearing the familiar beats of the song, yuqi can't help but bounce along to the beat, bounding up the stairs and walking to the table she and miyeon always sit at.

just as she's about to sit down, her phone pings and she sees a new message from miyeon.

'hey, do you mind if shuhua comes sit with us? we're partners for the poetry project and need to get some work done."

yuqi smiles at the text, finding it adorable that miyeon still asks permission for such small things.

'of course not! shuhua's so fun to be around. remember when we filmed the mv for latata?'

'OF COURSE. i think that was the hardest I ever laughed in my life'

a small giggle escapes yuqi's mouth, and she sets her phone down on the table as she pulls out her salad. hearing the staircase door open behind her, she looks over her shoulder and waves for the two girls to come over.

shuhua's pov

yuqi waves us over, and i see that she's sucking on a purple lollipop. weird. i don't think i've ever seen her without one. even when we were learning choreography for our music video she always had one in her mouth. i'm honestly surprised she didn't choke and die.

i let my curiosity about her habit rest at the back of my mind as we walk over, taking seats around the table.

the rest of our lunch break is spent on miyeon coming up with poem ideas, and myself desperately wracking my brain to figure out ways to actually write them down. and yuqi? she was just laughing at our futile attempts, trying to make our poems at least coherent. honestly, if yuqi wasn't there to help us, we probably would've handed in poems about puppies and rainbows. that's how bad we were doing. curious about her abilities, i nudge her arm with my elbow.

"how are you so good at incorporating actual emotions into poetry? like when i try to do that i just end up writing something dumb like 'she was sad'"

third person pov

yuqi smiles at the compliment, if not a little sadly. she didn't have the easiest life, pressure of school and family cracking her. in high school she started cutting, becoming addicted to the pain and euphoria that came with harming herself. it was an escape from reality, a way to relieve her stress. when miyeon found out senior year she started giving yuqi lollipops, saying that they would distract her from her desire to pick up a blade.

and they did.

so miyeon developed a new flavour, lavender, infused with the flower known for relieving anxiety and stress. yuqi has never gone back. honestly? she's scared. scared that if she doesn't have these lollipops, that she will find herself holding a blade, lines of red dripping down her arms. so she always keeps them with her, popping one in her mouth as soon as she feels the strong hold of a panic attack starting to grip her. it probably isn't healthy to be crunching on sugar all day, but it sure beats slicing lines into your arms.

yuqi hesitates for a second, then answers.

"i don't know. maybe it's just because i've been through a lot, and i tended to write down what i was feeling."

she didn't elaborate, and shuhua took the hint not to ask. so as the bell sounded once again, the three girls split their separate ways for the rest of the day, disappearing into the ranks of students bustling in the crowded halls.

a/n thanks for checking out this story! if you like it, make sure to comment and vote <3