𝔩𝔞𝔳𝔢𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔯 𝔩𝔬𝔩𝔩𝔦𝔭𝔬𝔭𝔰 (𝔰𝔥𝔲𝔮𝔦) ✓

healing

six

yuqi's pov

something's wrong. i can tell, the uneasy gaze, the white knuckles, the shallow breathing.

lightly nudging shuhua for fear of startling her, i lean over, noticing her untouched sandwich.

"what's wrong?"

i ask tentatively, whispering in her ear so the others wouldn't hear.

by 'others', i mean the rest of (g)-idle. yup, we gave our squad a name. after miyeon, shuhua and i started hanging out as a group, the rest of the members for that project joined in slowly, and now we're all inseparable.

"i don't know i just-"

shuhua's breath hitches and her eyes squeeze shut, and alarm bells start ringing in my head. definitely not a good sign. this can't just be some minuscule problem that will go away. shuhua doesn't let her emotions show, period.

i tilt my head towards the cafeteria door, and shuhua nods, relief evident in her expression.

i lock eyes with soyeon as we stand up, and she subtly waves us away. she's the best at reading people by far, and honestly can probably read our minds. soyeon's also the leader of our little group, who acts like our mom. i have no doubt she knows exactly what's going on.

leading shuhua into an empty classroom, i gently shut the door before turning to face her.

"okay, tell me what happened."

shuhua pov

i suck in a shaky breath, running my hand through my hair as I try to collect my thoughts.

"it's a long story."

and so i explain the entire story of how peony hid herself behind her happy mask, but ended up suffocating under it. i choke up when i get to the part about the police discovering her body, but force myself to blink the tears away.

trying to explain why it's affecting me so much right now, that's a different story.

"i don't know, i think i'm just scared of losing another friend."

"you won't, i'm better now. i'm so much stronger."

yuqi walks towards me, grabbing my hands and squeezing them reassuringly. i shake my head and squeeze my eyes shut, trying desperately to even out my ragged breathing.

"i just can't believe i didn't see the signs. i could've saved her, but i was too ignorant. she could still be alive and breathing right now. it's all my fault."

"no it's not. there's nothing you could've done. trust me, i would know. you've grown so much since then, learned so much from that time of your life. you are so strong, shuhua. i'm so proud of you for carrying on, for surviving after all that trauma. please, don't ever blame yourself for what happened."

hearing yuqi's words, i choke out a sob and finally let the tears fall, rivulets tracking down my cheeks.

i hadn't realized how long i'd been waiting to hear those words, to let go of the guilt that has gripped me for all these years.

i can't count how many nights i've lain awake, nauseated as i think of all the things i could've done. why didn't i ask if she was okay? why didn't i pay more attention? what if that was the difference it took to keep her alive?

but i hadn't realized it was killing me. i didn't realize how my own mental state was breaking down, how that event took over my entire life.

yuqi's arms wrap tightly around my waist, and i let myself melt into her embrace. i can smell her perfume, a soft vanilla scent that calms my inner turmoil.

"thank you."

i whisper softly, barely audible as i rest my head on yuqi's shoulder.

"anytime"

a/n
THE END IS COMING YALL GET READY