Dissatisfaction Town

Therapy Session

"We're going to try some talking therapy," Yusei explained, sitting opposite Kiryu on the couch. He felt his phone buzz in his pocket, and knew it was Jack. He ignored it, knowing he'd be irritated. An issue for future him to deal with. "Do you know what CBT is?"

"Cognitive behavioural therapy," Kiryu rolled his eyes, focusing on a singular spot in the floor. What the Hell qualified Yusei to act like this? He hated being treated like a condescending child - the entire reason his relationship with Yusei collapsed. "They tried to therapize me in the Facility. What the fuck does that have to do with my alcoholism?" 

"Well, you're drinking for a reason and CBT will help you identify and remove unhelpful thoughts relating to your alcoholism. Why do you drink, Kiryu?" Yusei asked, aware of how much he sounded like a cult recruiter. Yes, come to the Mormon church and we'll cure your depression... 

"I drink because..." Kiryu frowned, sitting back in surprise as he found no answer in his head. Even when he thought about it, the catalyst to his drinking problem escaped him. "It helps numb the pain," that sounded too generic, he could see how that was unhelpful. He opened his mouth to elaborate but Yusei shut him up by reaching over with lightning reflexes and clamping his hand over Kiryu's mouth. 

"No," 

"Mmmmpf!" 

Yusei smiled slightly. "Those kind of statements are exactly what I want - don't think about it too much, and the more detail you go into the more shit I have to wade through to get to the point," he released Kiryu's mouth, the frosty-haired man sitting there pouting. "It numbs the pain, that's what you mean," 

Kiryu slowly nodded. 

"Well, what causes you pain?" 

"What do you think?" he glared at Yusei. He knew what caused Kiryu pain, they'd been Skyping about it. And he was directly involved in half of it! "Everything, every shitty little thing that's happened to us,"

Yusei shook his head. "We don't talk about the past in CBT. I know you have a lot of issues from your past, but I need to know what's triggering you to drink now,"

"I guess..." Kiryu groaned. He wasn't good at talking about his problems, at least not in the conversational sense. He could monologue sure, but the intimacy of conversation was kind of overstimulating.

Yusei had Aspergers, he knew that, but he was beginning to expect he also had some sort of social issue like attachment disorder. He refuses to let this therapy be one-sided, he's analysing Yusei too. "I guess it's the rebuilding of the town. There's so much shit to do and I keep running into obstacles. It's frustrating when I've worked so hard and all I have left is anti-climactic admin work nobody appreciates. I spend hours doing this every day and that's why I drink, to numb the shitty feelings that causes," 

"Great!" Yusei clapped happily. 

"Great?" How incredulous. Identifying the cause of his drinking surely doesn't solve shit. 

"I don't mean-" he sighed. "I mean this is a really good breakthrough for therapy! We've figured out what the real problem is and now we can deal with it," 

"Can't we just do Twelve-Step or something?" Kiryu rolled his eyes, not sharing Yusei's excitement. "I'm not good at this therapy bull," 

"Twelve-Step and AA don't work, they have a very high fail rate," Yusei scoffed. "We're doing CBT for a reason. Okay, we've identified the problem. Now we can solve it,"

Kiryu was beginning to see the thrill Yusei got from this. Therapy is problem-solving, just like physics and maths, exactly what Yusei excelled in. And he was using CBT, a problem-solving method that didn't rely on ambiguous stuff like the psychodynamic approach. He sighed, Yusei was so easy to figure out.

Yusei sees that Kiryu isn't responding and asks a different question. "Can you see how damaging that kind of thinking is? It's unrealistic too. Alcohol doesn't numb your pain, it brings more pain," 

"How?" 

"Well it prevents you from being productive, or as productive as you would be without it. Which increases the pressure and decreases the results. You get less work done, and that just makes your workload worse," 

That... actually made a lot of sense. Kiryu never realised, or maybe he just didn't think about it, but that might have been the cause of all his weird stressful situations. Like when he forgot to send the contracts over to the holding company that deals with all their land revenue - he was drunk that night, and that led to a huge shitstorm with phone calls and late fees that came out of his pocket. Plus, he knew he got really bad withdrawal symptoms which included stress and depression, just adding to his actual clinical depression. 

"Yeah, I can see how that's damaging..." he admitted reluctantly, kinda pissed that Yusei's escapade was working. He'd hoped he'd get the satisfaction from watching another plan of his friend's crash and burn, but this was a rare occasion Yusei was actually being helpful, and not just being pretentious. "You're right, Yusei," 

Yusei smiled and looked at the clock, gasping slightly in surprise. "We've been talking for 50 minutes," 

"Oh," he feels like 5 minutes. 

"That's an entire therapy session!" Yusei turned over on the couch, stretching. "We can talk more tomorrow, but then it's up to you," 

"Wait, what?" 

"Well you didn't think we'd cure your alcoholism in a weekend, did you?" Yusei chuckled. "I'm here to help you help yourself once you're alone. I thought you knew that?" 

Kiryu had known, but had forced the thought form his mind. He had, he supposed, deliberately forgotten that Yusei had to leave and return to Japan, he didn't want it to be real. And to cope with that, he'd been treating this like an initial therapy session with a permanent psychologist, at least one he'd be seeing for the duration of the near future. He was trying to protect himself, but that's just made it worse. And it made him want to drink more now. 

"Well, now that our 'session is over'," Yusei smiled at him, oblivious to his inner feelings. Yusei never was great at understanding the feelings of others, especially recognising them from facial emotions. He likely just thought Kiryu was deep in thought or something, rather than falling into despair. "We can sleep now! And good, cause I'm really tired,"

"Eh, good," Kiryu stands. "I'll have the couch... or the desk, you can sleep on my bed..."

Yusei wrinkled his nose at the thin, balled-up blankets on Kiryu's bed. "Your bed is gross. I'll take the couch," 

"Noted," Kiryu nodded, going over to his bed and ready to collapse into the sheets, immediately falling asleep. Kiryu got exhausted really easily by social interaction and he'd had a lot of it, and was ready to fall alseep as soon as his head fell on the pillow. Yusei sat up from his place on the couch. 

"Are you not sharing with me?" They'd done it in Satellite since they were little kids, any time they were sleeping in the same room, they'd share a bed and cuddle. Mainly for warmth, but for other things as they got older.

"I - no," Kiryu sighed, shifting awkwardly. "That isn't a good idea," 

"Come on," Yusei groaned, not getting his hint. "Kiryu, you're my best friend. If we can't be intimate like this, there's no way you'll trust me to help you get over your addiction,"
It wasn't really about trust, more about avoiding something awkward. But Kiryu resentfully grabbed his blanket from the bed, lying as little spoon with Yusei on the couch and tugging it over their fully-dressed forms. Dammit, he felt wide awake now.