Under the Moon's Gaze (Alex Summers X-Men First Class Fanfiction)

Chapter Twenty-One: Opening Up

Chapter Twenty-One

Weeks had passed since the Cuba incident, and honestly I felt the same. Alex was trying his best to cheer me up, and he would, but as soon as night fell and I was alone again everything would come running back. It was like when I had first moved in, nightmares of my time imprisoned haunting me every night except now it was a combination of both that and what happened in Cuba.

I found myself thinking if it would have just been better to have stayed locked up, at least then I didn't know what it was like to lose someone you loved, because there was no one to love in the first place. Every time I thought this though I'd tell myself how stupid I was, because at least I still had Alex. He always asked me if I was ok and if I wanted to talk but I didn't want to worry him so I would just smile and tell him I was fine.

So here I was now alone in my room in the middle of the night with my thoughts slowly taking its toll on me. Before I'd talk to Erik about my problems since he could relate to me or Charles during our session. But now they were both gone, one left and the other injured and dealing with his own problems for me to add to. Now I just stared up at the ceiling of my room, my only company being the moon that came in through the curtains that were slightly open.

I laid there thinking of everything that had happened after that day; Moira had left, Charles erasing her memory in order to keep her safe. That only made things harder on him; I knew how much he liked her so I could only imagine how hurt he must feel to know that she won't remember him and what they shared. Charles was also now in a wheelchair, the bullet had left him paralyzed and it killed him to not be able to move around and use his legs. I would sometimes walk in on him yelling in frustration after trying to move his legs and failing. I would stand at the doorway not daring to move or walk in, I felt like if I did it would only hurt Charles more to know someone had caught him.

The boys all kind of just went about their business, not really knowing what to do. Hank had gone back to his research, trying to find a way to reverse his cells to how they were originally. I guess even after what Raven told him, he wasn't convinced about embracing his mutation. Alex on the other hand was either always with me or alone somewhere. As well as Sean, they would just disappear at times, nowhere to be found. I don't know where they went; I guess they just needed time to themselves, after everything it could get pretty stuffy and confining in this huge mansion. Funny how something so big can feel so small and suffocating.

I had seen Alex sitting in the library with his head in his hands once, he looked sad and frustrated. He just sat there in silence as if contemplating what to do now that everything had fallen apart. That was a couple of days ago though; he was gone more often than not since then. This only made me feel worse, I felt like maybe he was tired of me and was thinking of a way to escape this all.

This is how I had been spending most of my nights lately, hardly sleeping and over thinking everything only worrying myself more. Bags had formed under my eyes and I would feel myself slipping back to how I was all those months ago when I had arrived. Before I could think more into what was going through Alex's mind though, I heard the door to my room slowly squeak open.

My eyes darted to the door to see who it was and my eyes landed on Alex, who looked like a child that had just had a nightmare. He stood there by the door looking at the ground as if he'd done something wrong.

"Alex?" I whispered, barely audible.

His eyes then rose up to meet mine, I don't know why but all my worries came running back and I felt a tear fall down my eye. This caused him to rush towards me, sitting beside me on the bed. It had felt like so long since I had seen him, even though technically I saw him every day, but not talking to one another made it seem like months.

As soon as he sat on the bed I threw myself at him, catching him a little by surprise from which he quickly recovered.

"I missed you" I said into his chest as more tears began to fall.

"I'm so sorry Lucy." He said into my hair. It wasn't his fault at all but he still apologized. It was me that had become distant over the last days, everything was just so hard and I wanted time to myself, yet I still found it hard when he did the same. My logic clearly twisted.

"Don't be, I'm the one being difficult. I'd understand if you wanted to leave, I won't hold you back." I began rambling through tears.

"Hey, hey, hey. I'm not going anywhere ok" he said grabbing hold of my face. "You're not being difficult, you just went through something really traumatic, you've lost people really close to you. It's only natural to cut yourself off for a bit."

He moved his hand to wipe away the tears that were falling down my face.

"I just wish you'd talk to me about what you're feeling, you're not alone. I'm here for you, I'll listen to everything you have to say and help you through this."

"I just don't want you to worry, I have too many problems, I don't want them to be yours too." I told him.

"That's what I'm here for though. To help share your burdens, just like you've been there to help share mine."

I looked up at him with big eyes until I gave in, after weeks of holding everything in I just couldn't any more.

I moved myself, positioning myself onto his lap curling up into a ball as he moved to lean against the headboard. He wrapped his arms around me, rubbing my arms up and down soothing me. I didn't know where to start so I just kind of went all over the place. From feeling frustrated to not be able to help at all, to the incident of when I found Charles angry over his legs, even how I felt that everyone around me was slowly leaving. I was scared that eventually I would end up alone all over again with no one there beside me. The whole time Alex just sat there, listening to everything I had to say, sometimes chipping in with worries of his own. Although it may sound depressing, it wasn't, I felt like all the weight I had been carrying around was suddenly lifted. It was also nice to hear that I wasn't the only one worrying and that Alex also had similar things on his mind.

At some point we were just laying there, me still on his lap, in silence. After a couple of minutes I looked up to look at Alex to find him fast asleep, his mouth slightly opened. I giggled after hearing his small snores and was surprised that I was still capable to doing that. Then again whenever I was with Alex it was like everything was fine again.

I gently move him further down into the bed, positioning myself back into his arms with my head resting on his chest. I looked up one more time, a small smile appearing on my lips as I thought of how ridiculous I had been only hours ago thinking that he was thinking of leaving. I lifted my head up off his chest a little, kissing him on the cheek.

"Goodnight... I love you" I whispered.

I felt like I was cheating since I just declared my love to him as he slept so there was no way of him hearing me. But I was ok with that, eventually I would sum up the courage to tell him when he was awake, but for the moment I was content with saying my feelings out loud even if he didn't hear.

With then I laid back down, my cheeks flushed pink from my declaration, as my eyes closed shut ready for a good night's rest.

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I feel like Alex woupd be such a sweetheart. Like he's this big tough guy but as soon as the person he loves needs him, he's right there ready to do whatever it takes to help.

I think I'm almost done with the story, let me know what you guys think or if there's anything you want to see.

I hope you guys like it ;)