Broken and beautiful

Cahpter one

Hey it's NovaGrace just gonna say it I'm not good at titles so I'm not gonna do titles, enjoy.
Also trigger warning there is blood and a suicide attempt.

I run out of the school as soon as the bell rings. I don't stop running till I'm safely locked in my room. The words bounce around inside my head. "Worthless, stupid, useless, disappointment, waste of space." I cry until I've run out of tears and I lay on my bed shaking. I don't know who puts the sticky notes in my locker but that only makes it worse because in my head it's my voice that's calling me all these names. At least it's summer no more locker no more sticky notes. Just a fucked up head. I scream into my pillow but that it does is bring a new wave of tears. At least nobody is home to here me. Dads on a business trip and mom went with him, Bianca is at college for another week. I'm all alone. But even if they were here they wouldn't care why should they. My problems are dumb and I don't have a right to feel this way. My family's fine our financial state is fine I have nothing to be upset about. These sticky notes are stupid. But for a stupid as they are they hurt me so much. I stand up and go into my bathroom. I find my razor. I add one cut for every name that was on the dumb sticky note. There's five new lines each slowly dripping blood to join the various others on my forearm. I sigh feeling as if the words are being washed away with the blood. I clean up my arm and bandage it. All the words have empty's from my brain except for one little phrase that echos and bounces off my skull.

Waste of space.

I walk down the stairs of the empty house and get a glass of water a sit at the empty table and take small sips of water till the glass is empty. Everything is empty except my mind. I'm a waste of space. The words are burned into my brain. I see them every time I blink and I can't help but think they're true. I lay my head on the table and close my eyes only to see the same words again.

Waste of space

I bolt up from the table and quickly walk up the stairs I grab my art bag and make a quick stop to grab some pill bottles in the bathroom. I then flee from my house and run the woods next to it I pick my way down a path to a hidden beach. Nobody ever comes here so nobody will have to find me here. I set down my bag and sit on the ground I take out my art journal. There's one page left. Carefully I Write  it all out all the words all the pain I finish with  " If anyone finds this I'm sorry you had to and I'm sorry I wasted your time". I slowly open one of the pill bottles as well as the spare water bottle I keep in my art bag I'm about to take one when I here somebody's voice across the small lake.
"HEY," they yell "Please put the pills away." I look in the direction of the voice and see a tall blond kid running towards me. I grab my stuff and try to run away before he gets close but being short I cover less distance than he can he catches my arm and I stumble.
" Let go of me," I yell as I struggle to free myself.
"Hey," he says again " I'll let go of you if you promise my you won't run away from me."
I slowly nod and he releases his grip. I bolt. Dumb idea he catches me within seconds. He sits witch also pulls me down.
" Why," he says
" Cuz I don't know you," he lets out a small laugh.
" Not why were you running away from me, why did I see you sitting next to a lake about to overdose," I sit there silently for a minute before I break down crying. I can't believe myself I would have left Bianca and dad and mom. Omg I'm such a dumbass. Just because of some words on a sticky note. I cry harder as the boys arms wrap around me. I think about all the words I think about the simple cardboard box under my bed with all the sticky notes. Their right. I think. It's all to much in don't deserve to be here but I do t have any right to feel this way. I break down again until I eventually can't cry anymore. I look up at the boys eyes they're a crystal blue that seem to hold the entire universe in them.
"Wi-will you walk me home so I do-don't do anything stupid," I choke out. He nods and helps me to my feet. I slowly pick my way back up the trail and we emerge next to my house. As I go up to the door I realize he's been holding my hand this entire time. I look down at our hands together and he quickly drops mine.
"Oh- oh my god sorry I was, I mean, it's just," he stutters
" it's ok," I say. He looks relived and a little embarrassed. " I know we don't know each other but none of my family is here and I don't know if I can be ok while I'm alone would you mabey stay here please, just for a little." I look up into his eyes filled with concern.
" of course" he replies. I lead him to my living room and we get settled on the couch.
" I'm will by the way," he says as I sit down
" Nico" I say.

_______
Ahh guys that's a chapter. I hope you like it. Please feel free to message me with any suggestions or requests I'll update soon.