Defy Desire

Chapter 15 - Tom

I studied the details of the new addition to the collection of artworks throughout the room. This one was rather bland and certainly not one of my favourites I had seen displayed here in the past. The new additions had always sparked an interest in me; when did they originate? Who was the artist? What was the meaning? This new one I had already come across several times before and never cared to know the history, but I was keen to know why it had now joined the rest of the impressive group of masterpieces.

'Raphael,' I stated, flatly.

Anna followed my gaze to the painting behind her, then returned it back to me.

'The School of Athens,' she responded.

'Yes,' I said. 'Sometime around 1509 I believe, yes?'

'I'm not entirely sure, Tom,' she said, with a small smile. 'How about we focus?'

I let out a small sigh, knowing I should do exactly what she had just suggested, but was starting to wonder why I was here at all.

'I haven't seen you for a while,' she said. 'It's been almost a year now. What brings you back here?'

My life is slowly starting to spiral out of control again and I'm afraid...

'I feel like I need to...talk again...' I tried to explain.

It really had been almost a year since I had seen Anna. Back when my life had started to take a very dark turn, she pulled me out of it. At the time, I was dealing with that horrific situation I had been thrown into that caused me to turn so desperately to drinking and a borderline addiction to several prescription medications. The dark time that was now coming back around as the board re-investigated my case after the family decided they weren't happy with the outcome. Of course they weren't. They were after an easy payday.

Therapy with Anna had helped me regain control of my addictions and talking to her and having someone believe the truth I spoke got me through it all and once I came through the other side when it was all over, I didn't need her anymore.

Now, I needed her more than ever. It wasn't just because I was back where I had been last time I came to Anna, but because I needed to talk to someone about the other aspect of my life that was consuming me every single day this last week. The thoughts of her. The kiss. I needed to hear it from Anna herself that it had to stop. I needed her to help me gain the strength to get there before I turned back to my demons to deal with it. The sudden combination of drama in my life had sprung from nowhere, and I was terribly close to reopening the box in the bottom of the chest in my bedroom that held the tiny pills I had relied so badly on last time.

'You can talk to me about anything,' Anna told me. 'This is your safe space. The room is all yours. You can guide this however you feel you need to, but please, let me ask you one question first?'

I nodded.

'Are you consuming again?' she asked.

'No.'I shook my head. 'That's why I'm here. I can't go back to that. I just need to talk.'

'Please,' she encouraged. 'In your own time. I know it's hard for you to start opening up at first, but remember last time, once you did it, it got easier.'

I remained still for a moment as I wondered where to start. I thought it best to jump right in with the main problem at hand and see what Anna's thoughts were considering she had handled this situation with me before.

'There's an investigation,' I started, with a sigh. 'I'm being investigated.'

'Again?' she questioned, with a raised brow.