Defy Desire

Chapter 27 - Tom

I squinted my eyes at the cold air and rubbed my hands together as I studied the cobbled, dim street in front of me. It was dead. I glanced back at the open door of the building, waiting for Maia to come through it and grabbed my car keys from my pocket as she emerged and pulled the door shut.

Her expression was unamused and blank but I could still sense the nervousness from her body language. She strolled over to me slowly, clearly not in any rush to start the day this way and I forced a smile and took her hand.

'You'll be fine,' I told her, positively. 'You love your job, just remind yourself of that. You have to try and get on with things.'

'I just don't want to see them,' she said, flatly. 'They hate me.'

'You don't have to talk to them,' I told her. 'Just do your job; if you want to sit with me at lunch then you can.'

'Obviously not,' she scowled. 'It's too risky.'

'Well we can meet outside the hospital if you wish?' I suggested.

She thought about it and I thought I saw her face light up slightly until suddenly it turned to a frown.

'Oh my god,' she sighed, and closed her eyes. 'I'm so sorry. I'm being so selfish. Your meeting is this morning isn't it?'

I had been trying not to bring it up and worry her even more, as well as the fact I was trying not to remind myself of it. I was dreading this meeting with the board and was trying to tell myself that it would all be fine.

'Don't you be worrying about that,' I told her. 'It'll all be okay, I'm not worried so you don't need to be.'

She studied my face and I wondered if she could tell I was lying.

'I suppose I'll see you later,' she said.

I nodded and leaned down to kiss her. This never failed to fill my body with adrenaline and truthfully I just wanted to grab her hand and drag her back into the apartment and phone in sick myself, but I was trying to help her get her life back in order as well as my own.

'Have a good day,' I chirped, and she rolled her eyes before turning to walk to her car.

I laughed to myself as I climbed into my own and drove off down the little street to work. I could see her car still wasn't moving in my mirror and it was still parked at the roadside when it went out of my sight. I hoped she wouldn't let herself go back into the apartment and call in sick again; it worried me that her poor attendance would reflect badly on her record.

I dismissed the idea to call her and check if she had left; I didn't want her to feel like I was checking up on her. She was an adult at the end of the day and if she didn't want to go I couldn't force her.

I pulled into my parking space, climbed from my car and headed into work, taking a quick glance around the car park for her car coming in before I disappeared into the building but there was no sight of her. I took the lift to my floor and swiped my badge on the department door before heading to the staffroom.

I spotted her friends at a table. They were all laughing together and I tried to figure out which one was Jodie. Ava was there and the tattooed boy Nate. Another girl I recognised from around here, but had never worked with, was laughing at something and I figured this could be her. I studied her as I poured my coffee and tried to pull back the frustration of seeing her laughing and smiling and getting on with her job whilst Maia was the complete opposite. I never doubted what she had told me for one second, and I knew she had only resorted to violence because of the alcohol; it wasn't her. The girl had provoked her and said some pretty cruel things about her; I would have probably lashed out too.

I moved to a table at the back, walking past theirs as I did so and they glanced up at me as my presence was known. The girl smiled up at me sweetly. It wasn't uncommon to have your arse kissed as a consultant, especially by girls like this, the eye contact she was giving me just screamed promiscuous. I didn't return the smile, but simply moved my gaze back to the table in front of me.

I sat down and thought over in my head what I was planning on saying at this meeting. I had 45 minutes until it began and I was sweating slightly. Everything that had happened with Maia had distracted me from the seriousness of it all, but now I was really starting to feel on edge. I knew I would have to tell her eventually about the whole thing too, and this I dreaded. I hoped she would believe none of it was true and I hoped it wouldn't scare her off.

I grabbed the newspaper and made my way through it to pass the time as I finished my coffee. My head moved to the door every time it opened, but Maia never appeared. I was hoping she wouldn't in a way, as the idea that she would see them sitting there and not know what to do made me feel for her. She wouldn't join me either if she did come in here and it would be a situation that was out of my hands.

By 8:45, Maia still hadn't showed, and I realised she had very likely not come in at all. I closed my paper and headed to place my mug in the sink before moving out the door of the staffroom. I sighed to myself as I headed down the corridor to my meeting and told myself that there was nothing more I could do other than be truthful about everything, the same way I had done the last time. I hoped deep down that this donation the hospital had received wouldn't influence the board's final decision.

As I arrived at the double doors of the boardroom, I saw John lingering outside. He looked nervous. He spotted me and moved towards me quickly.

'You okay?' he asked, anxiously.

'Yes,' I told him, surprisingly calm. 'You don't look it though.'

'I'm fine,' he sighed. 'Tom, I really don't know which way this is going to go. I can usually sense the vibe coming from everyone when we go through pre-discussion but this seems split at the moment. I don't think anyone knows what to think.'

'Well, hopefully they do once they hear my side,' I said.

He nodded and patted my arm and I followed him into the room.

The board members were sat at a long table, and there was a single desk in front of them with one chair for me. It was patronising; it was as though I were back at school. I sat myself down and ignored the glances from them all, studying me and I focused on getting through this.

'Dr. Finch?' One man whom I knew was named William, addressed me loudly. He had been present the last time. 'I'm sure you're aware of why we are here today.'

'I am,' I responded.

'Well,' he began. 'Why don't we start with yourself, Doctor? Tell us, in your own words, from your side of things, the events of your day on 5th May 2017. Don't leave out anything you feel is important and it is vital that you be completely truthful in your statement.'

I nodded...and began.