Defy Desire

Chapter 22 - Maia

I dragged my feet through the corridor slowly, wishing deeply that I had gone through with the idea of calling in sick and going home for the week. I had changed my mind when I'd woken up this morning, thinking that facing the world head on was a better idea than hiding from it. Now, in this depressing, beige corridor on my way to theatre with the lovely Dr. Chen, I was full of regret and pissed at myself for being naïve.

I pushed open the O.R door and walked over to the board to study the list. Rachel and Diane both turned to look at me and I didn't have the energy in me to even greet them. My life was a mess and I just wanted to get through these days as quickly as I could.

Rachel soon approached me.

'Is everything okay?' she asked.

I closed my eyes and sighed. I didn't want to have to answer this question, even though I'd known it would come. My eyes were baggy from lack of sleep and crying and I had a face like a slapped arse.

'No,' I replied, not looking at her. 'I'm fucking fed up to be honest.'

She took a step back in surprise and studied me.

'I think you need a break from this department,' she said, after a moment.

'I need a break from god damn life,' I muttered.

'I actually took some overtime on recovery today so I was going to leave you with Diane,' she said.

I sighed again. Fucking great. Diane was about as interesting as a wet sponge.

'I think you should join me in recovery,' Rachel said. 'Get a change of scenery.'

I looked at her and nodded. This was good for me; I needed this distraction. I knew being in here all day with Dr. Chen would soon cause me to tell him to go fuck himself so it was exactly what I needed to hear.

I followed her out and we walked down the corridor to the Orthopaedic recovery bays. It was empty with it being the start of the day. I'd worked on recovery a few times and it was slightly more enjoyable than the general wards as people in here were usually in and out and the day passed a lot quicker. Patients had one to one care so you usually spent your day just sitting around taking observations on the same individual until you were happy for them to go and then onto the next one. It was repetitive, but it was the break from theatre that I needed right now.

The patients came and went quickly, mainly consisting of simple procedures and observing their vitals until they came around from the anaesthetic and were fit for the ward. Rachel seemed to leave me a lot with the patients on my own, and this soon brought me out of my mood as I got into the swing of being a recovery nurse. I dealt with the patients pretty much on my own so Rachel could man the desk at the same time. It was understaffed, but we were managing.

I was ten minutes into my observations of an elderly man straight out of a hip replacement. He was still coming around slowly, but his vitals were stable. I sat on my stool by his bed and nibbled my pen as I studied his colour and took his temperature. I was happy with him for now and let my eyes wander the room. It was a nice, quiet atmosphere in here today and not as busy as I'd thought.

A patient came wheeling in with their anaesthetist and scrub nurse and were placed in a bay. I eavesdropped on the handover to the nurse when I heard Dr. Finch's name. He'd done the surgery and everything had went fine and I couldn't help but feel a heaviness in my chest at the thought of him, even though things were rocky. Of course everything went fine, he was amazing at what he did.

The anaesthetist and scrub left and the nurse sat by the patient to take her observations. Rachel broke me from my thoughts as she approached me.

'Let me see this chart please, Maia,' she said, holding her hand out.