I suppose now I understand that feeling that movies often describe as not being sure whether you are conscious or not, knowing whether you are alive or dead. Never in my life had I felt this so strongly. Beatings every day from my father for so many years was much better than this void inside of me as I stand here, waiting for the stupidity of my actions to be answered. Staring blankly at the bald, white coat clad man in front of me, forever lost in a world of lost hope and crushed memories. That was really all that was left of me. The sweet memories of my beautiful Jimin, the few beautiful moments we had together only a week ago seemed to haunt me rather than bring me comfort. Any memory that rammed into my mind of him ultimately hurt me, leaving me breathless and screaming on the inside in pure agony. In the gang, I have become so much more reckless. I should have been better, if not for myself then for him. For my Jimin. He had needed me that awful day, and instead of being there for him, I was off being stupid. I should have been there with him. The need for living is with me no longer. The need for death isn't there either, I am merely a walking corpse with no thought of death or life. So, here I stand, waiting for the inevitable. Waiting for either an answer from the quite rude doctor, or just a simple motion with his hand to allow me back into Jimin's room. I hoped for the latter, I needed to see my baby.
"It's time," The doctor mumbled quietly.
I held my breath and closed my eyes, scared of the news I was about to receive. My mind flickered back to a memory that was also very dependent on an answer, the day Jimin and I had our first date.
Waiting patiently by the window in my friends living room, I nervously fixed the snapback that was resting stylishly atop my head. A smile played across my features as I thought of the angelic brunette that was going to pick me up any minute for our first official date to a very fancy restaurant. Cat-like eyes and a button nose above puffy lips shone in my mind. Jimin was so cute to me. My gang member background may eventually scare him off, but for now, that didn't matter. All that mattered was seeing that handsome face and hearing his sweet voice. I was so lost in my thoughts of Jimin that I hadn't noticed him arrive in a black Camero with red racing stripes. I also hadn't noticed a very handsome young man in black skinny jeans, a loose Hood By Air tee, and a black and red snapback walk up to the front door and knock very shyly.
At the sound of the knock, I shot up from my place on the leather couch and zoomed over to the front door. Not even checking to make sure it was Jimin, I opened the door nervously. A cute boy slightly shorter than me greeted me happily, but I didn't hear what he said because holy shit he looked fucking heavenly. His face was so- was that eyeliner around his kitty eyes? Damn this kid can pull anything off. Fluffy soft-looking hair was swept cutely across his forehead. I took one look at his whole body. I swear I drooled at the sight of bulging muscles slightly peeking out from the short sleeves of his black and white shirt.
A sweet voice brought me back to Earth, "Jungkookie? Are you okay?"
I licked my lips and ripped my eyes away from his sexy body and looked into his soft eyes. "I'm fine..."
He smiled. "Ready to go, Kookie?"
No words would form, so I simply nodded.
His smile brightened as he took my hand.
I completely zoned out for the whole ride to our destination. All that I could picture was those skinny jeans that hugged Jimin's muscular thighs in just the right places, those thighs wrapped around my waist weakly as I-
"Kookie?"
"Y-yes?" Fuck, why did I have to get all flustered just looking at him?
I turned to face him for the second time that night. I really wish I hadn't because once I saw those dark, shining eyes and so soft plump lips, it was hard to control myself from tackling him then and there and claiming him as mine. I've waited so damn long for us to be this close, I couldn't blow it because of my stupid hormones.
His calm face twisted into worry, causing my heart to hurt slightly. "Are you okay? Should I take you home?"
Opening my mouth wider than I probably should have, I simply shook my head 'no' and broke the frightening eye contact we held.
Once we were finally sitting down in the restaurant having fun conversations about such random things, I thought everything was better now. Not that I wasn't sexually flustered anymore, because I sure as hell still was. Jimin was cute, sweet, and yet so sexy that it was hard for me to focus on the very expensive food in front of me. At this point, I'm pretty sure I stopped listening altogether because I was so focused on just watching him. I'm a creep, but who really gives a fuck? I love watching his eyes crinkle when he smiles, the way he rambles on about pointless things, how he hums when he's eating. I probably watched him for a good fifteen minutes. He was so perfect in that moment as I watched him sitting still, not moving. Then I realized, he stopped talking and is staring at me like a crazy person.
"Umm....Jungkook?" His small voice finally found my ears.
"Hm?" I pretended to pay close attention to my food, poking at whatever it was with a small fork.
"Are you okay?" He put down whatever utensil he was using to eat so he could reach across the table and take my free hand in his. "Is something wrong?"
I smiled. "No, I'm fine. It's just.." that you're too hot for me to look at "...it's just kind of hot in here, you know?"
He pouted slightly and looked up to the ceiling, as if contemplating something. "We can go soon, if you want. The food isn't all that good anyway. Besides, I kind of wanted to talk to you more privately." He smirked and look back at me.
Was I stunned or what under that suggestive gaze of his.
Once again, I had blanked out. When I finally recovered from the shock of Jimin's words, we were standing outside the restaurant by his car. He was humming and slightly moving his hips from side to side as if there were a tune playing nearby. I smiled at his cuteness and took his hands in mine, beginning to sway with him. Jimin smiled back with that adorable eye-smile of his and pressed himself very close to me. God, why is it so hot out here, was the only thing I could think as I felt his hips slightly rub against mine. His hum vibrated against my chest as he lyed his face on it. I moved my hands down to his waist, his snaked up to my shoulders. There we stood for nearly an hour, dancing in the comfortable silence that hung between us. I know it may sound weird, but ever since that moment, I feel like we became a lot more close and had a better understanding of each other.
Coming back from the memory, my mind came to a conclusion. Jimin had to be okay because we had to dance together again. We had to feel each others warmth and the comfortableness of being beside one another. We had to have more perfect moments like that. Jimin was going to be okay, right?
"Mr. Jeon,"
"Yes?"
The doctor cleared his throat. "I said, it's time."
"What?" I managed out with a dry croak.
He sighed and patted my shoulder. "Go in there with him. You have about thirty minutes."
Thirty minutes.
Thirty.
I sucked in a deep breath as I walked up to Jimin's new room, #405. Holding that deep breath, I pushed open the door.
I have to dance with my Jimin one more time. Just one more time with my Jiminnie.
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Your Heart's In Danger | Jikook
FanfictionJimin is a sweet, kind, loving 11th grader who gets bullied on a daily basis. His sweet and trusting nature may be what gets him hurt in the end by loyal gangmember Jeon Jungkook. No, Jimin is not in the gang. Nor does he even care to know much of t...