The Problems With Being Gay At 13

Ch.14 -F*ck Thanksgiving!-

November 29th, 2012

You know, this is the time of year to have fun, be with family, and not bitch about stuff. Well, of course that’s never how thanksgiving at my house is. It’s the holiday season; school’s out and you’re supposed be happy dammit! Not fucking have a food fight! Diary, it’s been 26 days since I last wrote in you and nothing eventful happened but sure as hell stuff happened tonight! So every year for Thanksgiving my embarrassing family comes to my house because everyone is over the place; Cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents. The whole package basically. So all day Mom is slaving in the kitchen while I USUALLY lay around but no, no lying around because my Aunt Charlotte’s family decided to come over early even though they live in like Canada which is far. The reason I can’t lay around is because this part of the family has me up on my toes not wanting to be near them but they’re everywhere. That family is a hot mess, I swear. I have nickname made for their 5 children too: Suzie the Slut, Crack Head Dawson, Dorky Harold, Snotty Peter, and CJ. Now, the only one who isn’t as weird as them is my cousin CJ which her real name is Charlotte Junior but she hates it.

I mean she is only friggin 10 and she’s a total badass. She gets whatever she wants whenever she wants. The others are self-explanatory but Jesus they are annoying. When they got here I was ready to pass out because as usual Snotty Peter had a nasty, disgusting snot bubble in his nose and snot was hanging out of his nose. I wouldn’t usually call myself a germaphobe but damn this 5 year old boy just needed to be cleaned up. But no one seemed to notice. I wanted to run so far away from home that it was ridiculous.  So I had 5 kids in my house with many problems.  They usually stay the night and then leave which is bad because the next day they’re even more annoying.

So most of the time I was in my room but Crack Head Dawson shares with me this time of the year. During whole time he was with me he was smoking weed on my floor and talking about incest with his Suzie the Slut. Utterly disgusting because you don’t know what decease she’s caring and she’s a slut so there’s my explanation. When he started talking about incest with me the doorbell rang (thankfully) and I hopped out in a flash to answer it. To my surprise it was the Henderson’s with plates of food in their hands. Everybody was there; Demetrius, Ariel, Mr. Alex, Mr. Danny, and even Marisol. When I asked why they were here Mr. Alex said Mom invited them. I should’ve known though so I let them in and the 5 problem children were there to see who it was. Not too long after they arrived Suzie the Slut was all over Demetrius.

Much to my dislike, keep in mind she’s only 14 which is sad to be a slut at that age. I mean she was literally dry humping him, all over his lap, and trying to seduce him. HE wasn’t even doing anything about it which made me mad until I had had enough with the sexual acts.

“Suzie, for Christ sakes he’s gay!! Now stop trying to have sex with the poor boy, leave him alone!! You utterly worthless tramp!! Get off his damn lap before I hit you in the head with a baseball bat.”

She immediately got up and left. I think I kind of scared her with the whole baseball bat thing but she deserved it. Trying to get Demetrius to sleep with her; BITCH!

Anyway, when I was busy trying to rip the sheets off of my bed that Snotty Peter was on Ariel paid me a visit. She’s been a little distant since my confession about being gay so it was a surprise that she was talking to me again.

“Yo, Tyler! Your family is fucking weird!! Your cousin Dawson keeps on talking about incest with different family members and smoking weed. How does your aunt not even realize that?”

I shrugged putting the sheets on the floor. “I don’t know. Dawson is a little messed up in the head so yeah….”

“Tyler, I’m glad you told me you’re gay because I feel special now. I’m like the only person who got the full confession, the confirmation, the—“