Pain and Recovery

Yurio's arrival

Pic to be added

Normal
Thoughts
Destructive thoughts

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Yuuri's P.O.V
This morning started out like any other day. With me shooting up startled by the time I woke up at, and wincing from the pain from my many cuts. Today though I didn't wake up as late as I thought I did and it was only 9 o'clock but I was still late for training with Viktor. So I quickly got dressed ignoring the pain in my arms and the constant nagging my stomach was giving me to give it food. I wore a simple sweater and joggers because I have been a lot colder than I used to be lately. I bolted out the door towards the ice rink. On my way I noticed I once again forgot my food for breakfast. Oh well. You deserve to starve anyways. He's not wrong about that I'm a lazy fat pig, that doesn't deserve the right to food. I don't deserve Viktor becoming my coach. I never deserve anything not even the air I breathe. I made it to the rink in about 15 minutes panicking about how Viktor will react to my lateness. Right when I got there I started apologizing to him over and over again. But surprisingly he didn't yell at me like everyone else. Instead he just pat my head saying it was fine because I wasn't as late as I usually was. Which was a hail marry to my poor mental state. I started my skating as warm up I took three laps around the rink and started a few jumps to test out my soreness. And no surprise there it hurt like a mother trucker. But I can push through like I always do everyday. I deserve this pain, this is what I get for taking Viktor from his life as a 5 time gold medalist. Viktor then called me over so I assumed like normal that he was just going to tell me what I needed to improve for my jumps and about the step sequences that I had started last week. But again to my surprise all he did was ask me about why I keep wincing every time I had gone for a jump. "I didn't get much sleep last night," was my quick answer. "Yuuuuuriiiii" He doesn't believe me. Fuck. I can't let him know he'll hate me just like everyone else that has found out. I start hyperventilating, I can't help it. I try to calm down but I just can't. Viktor notices....

Viktor's P.O.V

I was waiting for Yuuri to finally show up for practice. As I was think about ways for him to land his jumps better suddenly I hear a loud bang and look up. There he is finally but he isn't as late as he has been so that's a relief. He immediately starts apologizing but I simply shut him up by placing my hand on his head and pet him. After that he just stares at me, I turn my head curiously at him wondering if I have something on my face for him to be staring at me so. He then just gets up and starts warming up and starting his jumps. Every time he lands from his jumps he winces however quickly he covers it up. I call him over and asks, "Why do you keep wincing every time you land your jumps?" His response was not what I wanted to hear because he was bullshitting me. "I didn't get very much sleep," was his response. "Yuuuuriiiii" I drag out the vowels of his name. The next thing I knew he was hyperventilating and panic was in his eyes. "Hey hey what's wrong Yuuri? Are you hurt what's wrong?" Right after I hear that there's a bang from the entrance, I look over and see Yuri shouting in Russian "Viktoooooor!" Then he looks over and sees me with Yuuri who was still panicking and visibly flinched at Yuri's outburst. "Oi pig what's wrong with you??!" he shouts as he notices him with me. In the span of about 2 seconds Yuuri was up and out of the rink and out the door in a flurry of skates and limbs. Once he's left Yuri looks at me confused and asks "what's his problem?" In a highly rude way. That pissed me off extremely.

Yuuri's P.O.V

I just bolted out of the ice rink when I heard Yuri all me a pig. I ran all the way home not even thinking to take my skates off. Once home it was around 11 and I just ran, or attempted, to run to my room with my skates on. I made it to my room and locked the door sliding down to the floor, I start crying the pain in my ankles was so great along with the mental pain from Yuri's verbal abuse. I slowly take my skates off hissing in pain from the sores that have come up from my skates having been on while I ran home. I slowly got up and wobbled to my bathroom looking through my medicine cabinet for my razor. This is the third day in a row that I have done this to myself. Why am I such a useless person who can't do anything but hurt themselves and be self depreciating. I strip my shirt off and just look at all the fat on my body. I start crying worse. I'm so fat and hideous and deserve this pain I'm about to give myself in all it's glory. You definitely do deserve this pain you fat fuck. You don't deserve to live or anything you have especially not Viktor. I quickly brought the blade down onto my wrist making quick slashes the pain feeling great, making the voice in my head shut up. I kept cutting slashes till there wasn't anywhere on my body that there wasn't any cuts or blood on my body. I was slowly starting to feel light headed but I kept going, making more and more cuts than I have ever made in my self harming life. At some point, I don't know when but I had passed out not only from the pain but from the blood loss.

Viktor's P.O.V

After yelling at Yuri for 25 minutes I ran out of the rink and quickly took off my skates. I rushed to the inn and made a mad dash to his room the moment I made it inside. His door was locked so I started yelling for him to unlock the door but but he never answered nor made a single sound. This panicked me to the point where I asked Yuuri's mom for the master key that will unlock any door in the whole building. Once I opened the door I shouted for Yuuri but still got now response. I noticed the lights on in the bathroom with the door slightly opened. I rushed in and nearly threw up my breakfast front eh scene in from of me was so gory. What I saw was Yuuri slumped against the bathtub unconscious with a huge puddle of blood surrounding him. All I saw was blood, his blood, everywhere in the bathroom all coming from his arms and stomach. How much blood can one person lose before they die? I thought frantically as I grabbed a towel to try and stop the blood flow. "HELP! HELP PLEASE!" I shouted trying to stop the bleeding. I started crying, I can't lose you Yuuri I just can't I don't know what I will do without you. There was a scream coming up from behind me, I turn and see Mrs.Katsuki there with Mari staring at Yuuri's body. Mari immediately ran off, I assume to call the ambulance. She then comes back with about five towels to try and help to stop the bleeding. After a grueling 15 minutes EMT's started filing into the bathroom shoving me aside to get to Yuuri. I was shouting at them to help him to make sure that he makes it. They quickly take Yuuri out of the house on a stretcher and quickly load him up into the ambulance. Mari comes up behind me swinging her keys in her hands telling me she's going to follow the ambulance in her car. I quickly follow he into the small Toyota Camry. All I can think is, Yuuri I can't lose you, your too important to me for me to lose you. I know we've only just met in real life but I can't help it how fast I have fallen for you. Yuuri, I love you.