Pain and Recovery

Present day

This will be set to right after Yuuri got last place in the beginning. SELF HARM is on this section.
Thoughts
Destructive thoughts
Regular
"Talking"

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Yuuri's POV
Presently I am in the bathroom of the championship skating event after my turn in the ring, crying and just got off the phone with my mother. I lost. Completely and utterly lost. I should have never started skating I'm such a useless person in everything I do.Yes you are a complete and utter failure. You should have never even stepped into that ice you knew you would just embarrass yourself in front of Victor Nikiforv, your idol.  SHUT UP!! I don't want to hear it I know I failed and that I'm a waste of space and oxygen. Then why don't you just end it here and now. You have a blade on you don't you? I think I do in my pocket. Yuuri then searches his pockets for any type of blade he might have on him but came up with none. Damn I can't get rid of this voice in my head. Fuck. Guess I get to torment you some more. After that there was a sudden loud bang on the door of the stall I was in and I jumped. I quietly got up and opened the stall door to see a head of blonde hair. Yuri Plisetsky the Russian punk skater in the junior group. The next thing I hear is "Oi! Fat pig your such a failure, why are you are still here?" That really hurt, but he is right about the failure. Heh you know it. Shut up. Before I know what happened I said " I know, I shouldn't be here and that I'm a failure better off dead." What!?! Why did I say that I know I deserve to be here but. Scratch that I actually don't. That's right because you can't land any of your jumps and you barely can in practice. This was my only chance to prove that I deserve to be up on that stage with my idol Viktor. And I totally Fucked it up. I really don't deserve to be here, I'm too fat and too stupid to ever be worthy of standing on the same stage as Viktor. The next thing that happened really surprised me, Yuri's eyes widened, then he just left without even saying a word. So I left as well so that I would make it to the airport in time for my flight. On my way there the thought never stopped and never lightened instead the exact opposite they got worse. I almost missed my flight, right when I got there they were calling for people to start boarding the plane.

Time skip ^.^

At the airport, after arriving in Japan, I had decided to go strait to my families house and inn instead of to my coaches skating ring. I didn't want her to see how much of a failure I was as her student and how fat I had gotten.  I had gotten home a little later than I would have preferred so by the time I got there I had already missed dinner. That was fine by me, after all I need to lose weight so I probably would have eaten very little anyway. Right after I put my luggage away I heard my mom calling for me to come meet someone very important. When I got back downstairs I see Viktor, and my heart stops. What is he doing here? He'll see how Fat I've gotten and my scars. Shit. The next thing I know I hear my mom snapping her fingers in-front of me snapping me back to reality. Viktor then repeats what he was saying. " hello Yuuri, I came to be your coach!" He shouted. All I could do was stare blankly at him. He then stared back at me and said " take a picture it would past longer" In an cute and innocent way. If you take a picture with him your ugly ass would ruin the picture because of all your fat. Damn it I though the voice had finally gone away. After that was said I looked down and started walking away towards my room. My now new coach was confused and asked " are you sure you don't want a picture? Or a hug you look sad." I didn't answer him but just kept walking towards my room. Once I got there I locked my door and went straight to my drawer that I keep my blades in. I chose the sharpest one, which is a blade from a broken sharpener. Just do it already, don't you want to get rid of me or do you actually like me torturing you? No! I absolutely hate you. After I said that I brought the blade down into my thighs and dug it in and dragged a harsh line across. I stung greatly and I had to force a scream down. I did the same thing about eight times then switched to the other thigh doing the same. Once I was done I was covered in blood and felt light headed. I just barely made it into my bed before I felt myself pass out.