Venus

All about Venus

I sat there, looking around me. everyone was happy, smiling and laughing. I was there but I wasn't there. 

" have you seen Andy's new girlfriend? shes does not have pretty has he made out she was." Lisa said waving her phone around, with the newly uploaded picture of the pair on Facebook. 

I felt my heart break all over again. I looked up and nodded my head, I could feel the blood rush through me, my head became dizzy and my throat had this knot. Compose yourself, don't show them how much pain your feeling right now. 

"I have to get Karter from school." I stood up brushing off what was left of my dignity. 

"you are dealing with this news very well, are you sure your alright?" Lisa asked me looking at me confused, I guess she expected me to be crying by now.

 I looked up barely looking in her eyes, I was scared of looking into her eyes that were full of sadness for me and what was happening, would only make me start to cry. I was broken like the glass that the man had dropped on the ground. 

" Andy has moved on... he made it clear, now I must leave him to be happy," I said trying to dismiss the question or answer before, I wasn't quite sure with the way she had asked or told me.

 "Please tell me this is it now Vee? no more going back no matter what he says or does! This is enough to show you that he really wasn't what he made out to be!" Karla said pointing her finger at what felt like was me. I nodded my head. 

"No I don't want a nod I want an answer, this is it right?" Karla held on to my arm, stopping me from putting my coat on. 

"Like I said andy is happy, I don't want to be known as the home wrecker; or the obsessed one. This is it now?" this was really it. 

The pictures in bed in my head, seeing him hold her like that. now it was more real this was it. I just had to accept it now and move on... But how would I? How would I help myself to move on? Having a son together it was hard to really walk away from it all. But, I had no choice! I stood up and gave them both a hug and kiss goodbye. I hurried out the door and let out the biggest breath. Don't give in! I said to myself. I was walking my body was taking me to Karter, but my mind was stuck on what I just heard. Then I heard my phone ring. Even that sounded like an alarm bell, I felt so sensitive. I put my hand in my bag, pulled out my phone. When I turned it around to see who was calling. I saw the last person I wanted to talk to ANDY!!!! I stopped walking feeling dizzy and sick all over again my heart racing, my eyes stinging and my hand sweating. I could see my heart popping out my chest and finding it very hard to breathe again. I wondered if I should answer him right now. I wasn't ready to talk to him, knowing what I saw. Maybe he was calling about Karter though but if not then I guess it is about his... his... I can't even say it his girlfriend! My finger froze over the answer button and I knew I couldn't answer! Not like this, he would hear the pain in my voice. I have to be brave! I can't let him see he hurt me. Not this time, not again. I need to believe it first before I expect him to believe. I put my phone back in my bag, continuing to walk towards the school. Is there a light to the end of this dark murky tunnel? I said to myself. All them years loving someone who didn't want to be loved. Someone who didn't want to love. All for what... A picture of him in a new relationship with someone else. I felt my legs turn to jelly, I felt like I was going to fall or was I actually...

SMACK!!!!!!!

I opened my eyes seeing this male figure through the blur in my eyes, hovering over me. "Andy...?" I said the cracks in my throat. 

"No sorry no andy here, just me. Are you okay?" His voice was so deep and daring I couldn't help but fuzz up inside. Like I wasn't just having the biggest break down a few moments ago.