My life /thoughts

holding on i guess

On the outside you'd say I'm not hurting at all but when you look inside you get a glimpse of all the pain and how my heart feels like its being crushed and ripped out .I don't understand why I am always end up in pain when I'm always there for everyone and try to be a better person but I guess that's how life is not always fair .I'm trying to live through all the happy moments and be happy but its hard when I'm always sad or get really bad anxiety and I can't do nothing about it .It constantly feels like a heavy weight on my shoulders that gets heavier every day and with everything that's going on makes it work I just want a happy life no more pain .I have had so much pain my whole life but at least I can still laugh and have happy moments and think of happy moments and not be like I used to back when I was emotionless and didn't cry and never showed emotions