To Tame the Wild: a Red Dead Redemption fan fiction

Chapter 7 - By Way of Sorrow

Chapter Track: "By Way of Sorrow" – The Wailin' Jennys

Morning came too soon for the people of MacFarlane ranch. Hardly any birds sang their cheery tunes; the livestock barely uttered a sound as the morning chores began. A heavy mournful air hung over the ranch like fog.

Jack awoke in his cell bed in a bleak state of mind; he was confused and crushed by the hollow, ragged hole he felt in his chest and soul. He barely knew the three men that died yesterday, and as if his guilt wasn't enough, he felt less of an accomplished man. The past month had been an upward battle in his climb for honor, and now, even as he felt so near the top, his grip had slipped on a jagged rock and he had fallen back to the very bottom, bruised and battered. The events of the other day repeated relentlessly in his mind's eye.

He wasn't surprised to see Bonnie--dressed in black, no less, and carrying a black suit over her shoulder--as she came into the sheriff's office to unlock his cell door; he knew Maddie wouldn't have been strong enough to do it.

"Mornin', Bonnie," he murmured as he sat up in bed. He flung back the covers with a flick of his hand. "How are you feelin'? How's Maddie doin'?" He swung his legs out from under the sheets and stood up.

She scoffed and shook her head as she returned the skeleton key to her breast pocket. She didn't make eye contact with him as she stepped back to give him room to walk out. Her voice came out in a pained, hushed undertone. "It's not the greatest morning I've had, I'll tell you that much. Maddie's doin' fine. She's a little weak and can't move around much, but she's doin' well enough for someone who's been shot twice." She gestured for him to come forward. "You'll need to get your chores done as soon as possible. The funeral starts at nine o'clock, and I want everyone to be done with their work, at least most of it, so we can all honor them properly."

Jack nodded. "Sure thing, miss. But...am I even allowed to attend?"

Bonnie locked eyes with him for the first time that day. "Jack Marston, why on earth would you say that? Of course, you're allowed to attend! Why wouldn't you be?"

He shrugged as he walked out of his cell. "Well, would you want the person responsible for their deaths to attend the funeral? I certainly wouldn't." He headed for the door to get to his morning chores.

She caught his arm and held him back. She looked into his eyes when he glanced back at her, and she said tenderly, "You're not responsible for any of this, Jack. Don't take the blame for something you didn't do." She handed him the black suit she held over her shoulder and added, "After you get done with chores, change into this. It's one of Nathaniel's suits, but it should fit you well enough for the funeral."

He frowned as he took the suit from her and hung it on the cell door before walking outside. She followed him, and when he stepped out to face the dreary day, she departed from his side to prepare for the service. As he labored through his chores alongside the ranch hands, he couldn't help but let his self-inflicted guilt eat away at him like a parasite feasting upon its host. The deaths of Joshua, Bill, and Ira struck deep within him, and despite all the horrid things he'd done in the past month, despite the fifteen people he'd murdered, the massacre of his former co-workers plunged him into an insatiable black well of bereavement. He went through the motions of his morning routine, not really seeing what he was doing.

When it came time for the funeral to begin, he lingered behind as he carried several square hay bales into the horse corral. He chucked the bales a few feet in front of him and picked up the baling twine after it broke. As the herd gathered around him and ate their fill, he was taken by surprise when someone shouted at him from behind.