19: They Call Her Party Animal

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How in the world do girl's move in mini skirts?

It's difficult to walk in a straight line without stumbling over these sky-high heels from being constrained in a piece of cloth that is no longer than the length of a soda can. It's barely covering any skin and I feel dirtier than a hooker on a street corner. The upper half of the dove white dress accentuated my curves perfectly. The bottom half is Darcy's version of what a dress should be, but honestly, this would be too short on a five year old.

I was still brainstorming strategies on how I would miraculously make it through the night without falling flat on my ass (or face), when Clarkson and Penelope burst into my room.

"Love, there's literally a line forming at your front door. Are you ready yet?" Clarkson asks, without looking up from his phone.

"I think so?" I question more than I answer. "Darcy might have given me a child's dress for an outfit."

"Hm," Penelope examines me. She pats down the curls that wrap around my face and takes a soft tug at the false eyelashes that felt like wings on my eyes. If she looks closer, she'll see a glimmer of gold eye shadow on my lids and just a hint of nude lip-gloss. I look more glamorous than I feel. I don't know how celebrities do it - I feel like I've got five pounds of extra weight added onto my face. And I'm sure that by the end of the night, I'll have streaks of different colors running down my cheeks.

"This will do," She concludes after letting go of my face. "The DJ and food platters are ready to go. The open bar is up and running too."

A jittery feeling starts at the tips of my toes and zaps all the way through my spine. For my first time hosting a party, I had been calm up until this very moment. Of course, Clarkson and Penelope had done most of the work. I hadn't seen even the slightest edge of a freak out, but that was all changing. "Where are Darcy and Jag?"

"Scouring the line to find the lacrosse boys. They want them inside before everyone else," Clarkson answers, twiddling at his phone.

"What are you typing?" I say, looking over Penelope's shoulder at him.

"Updating your Twitter and Instagram. People are dying to know what I'm giving them a sneak peek of."

"I'll leave you with that then," I mumble, not interested the slightest in any social media at the moment.

I walk over to my window that overlooks our front yard. There is, in fact, a line that's starting to form across the green grass, a bunch of excited chattering coming from below. The entire street is filled with cars, but luckily, since the only neighbors we have on top of this hill are about three miles away, we won't be taking up anyone else's parking spaces.

But that doesn't ease the nerves that are starting to tingle when I see the chunks of people arriving, and the flashing lights of cars in search of empty spots. There are a lot of people I have to impress tonight - a lot of people with high expectations.

I felt like a lie. I honestly hadn't lifted a finger for this party at all. Clarkson and Penelope had done everything. I didn't even dress myself. Darcy took care of that and made sure I looked like a Grecian goddess with a light, off white dress and braided up do. The only part I had contributed too was taste testing the appetizers that were the opposite of whatever organic trash my parents had locked away in our pantry.

However, what I've learned from these past few weeks of publicity and money spending is that appearances are everything. It doesn't matter what the truth may actually be. What matters is giving people what they want to see, what they want to hear, and what they want to know. Tonight, they wanted to see me host a party, they wanted to hear the best music, and they wanted to know that parties like this would continue after tonight. I'm sure that with an entire team behind me, that would all be possible. But there was a nagging voice in the back of my head telling me that I should try to be myself tonight, instead playing hostess. I want to have fun and enjoy the party, but Clarkson and Penelope had other plans for me.

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