A Forbidden Act

Part 5 - Struggle

 Sharon always loved being outside, feeling the fresh air on her face. Although this time she would have rather been in her room. With someone else, preferably. But no, she had to stay with Timo, to "please" him, or mostly her father. She could easily tell Timo wasn't interested in her. It was all about heritage, and money. That's all everything depended on, actually. Money, money, money. One might ask: "Why do you need all that money? Can't you live very humbly without such an amount?" Of course, the other would then get frustrated, and find worthless arguments to justify all the money spent, or usually wasted.

So the new couple sat alone, in the gardens. Timo had dressed for the occasion, wearing a fancy white shirt, covered by a night blue blouse. As for Sharon, she wished she could say she had done the same, to reassure herself, but that would have been a lie. No, she wore the usual; a long purple dress, and the matching jewels and makeup. Indeed, she didn't want Timo to seriously fall for her. That would be a real issue.

"Is something the matter, my dear?" Timo asked, a small smirk playing on his lips.

"No. I am feeling very fine, my Lord." Sharon answered, shivering as the man's voice uttered the word 'dear.'

But as she spoke those words, she thought otherwise. She should have told him she felt unwell, they might have walked back to the castle. Where she would have either gone to her room, or seen Tarja. Timo leaned in towards Sharon, but the woman turned away from him.

"Don't you dare." she growled, her heart pounding in her chest. "Don't even think of making a fool out of me. I know you don't love me. And I don't love you, either."

Timo suddenly grabbed Sharon's hand, who instantly regretted her words.

"I make the rules here, dear." He hissed.

Sharon felt herself being pulled towards him and felt his lips being crushed against hers. It took her a few moments to process the information, but when she understood, she tried to pull away but to no avail. Timo held her wrist so tightly she couldn't even free herself from his grasp. As Timo parted from her she tried again.

"Let me go!" she yelled

Unexpectedly, he did as she ordered, staring at her. Frightened, she got up, looked at him before turning around and quickly walking back indoors. She could feel his burning eyes set on her as she walked away.

Things were getting worse and worse. Each time Sharon came across Timo, he would stare at her until she felt so uneasy she had to turn away. There was something about his eyes. Something frightening, like a lit fire, destroying everything around it. Sharon felt that if she got closer she, too, would be destroyed by these burning flames. To make matters more complicated, she didn't see Tarja anymore, somehow they kept missing eachother. She longed to see her, and feel her lips against her own. At that sole thought, she felt her heart beat faster, and starting to ache. It had been a few days since they hadn't seen eachother, and Sharon worried for her already. Suddenly, she stood up, and walked around the castle to seek her.

The last time they had seen eachother was when Tarja had declared her love for her. A few moments later, with Sharon so bewildered she couldn't move, Tarja had gotten up and walked away. Now Sharon was standing in front of Tarja's room door, trying to steady her shaking lips. As she reached to knock, she saw that her hand was trembling too. "Calm down Sharon. You can do this." She whispered to herself. She took a deep breath in and knocked three steady times. After a few seconds, she heard Tarja's voice answer with a yes. She shivered just at the sound of that sweet voice and entered the room. Tarja was on the other side of the spacious room, looking at her with her green, angel eyes. There was a long moment of silent, neither knew what to do or say. Sharon was at a loss of words. In her mind kept circling the image of Tarja's face, just a breath away, her eyes, closed, then those lips on her own, and the wonderful feeling she had experienced. Suddenly Sharon almost ran over to the other woman and took her in a warm embrace, wrapping her arms around her, and putting her head over Tarja's shoulder. Slowly, Tarja also lifted her arms to hold Sharon. 

"Sharon, I'm sor-"

"Hush. Do not speak, just hold me." Sharon interrupted her, with a barely audible whisper. 

Tarja did as she was told, until Sharon broke the embrace and stood upright, looking into Tarja's emerald eyes. Then she kissed her, and fell into a void of nothingness except for the taste of Tarja's lips on her own, and that clenching feeling in her heart.  The woman she loved was making one with her, and this time it wasn't like the first one. This time, they both knew what they were doing. They kissed until they were out of breath, both panting and giggling, with a flush on their cheeks. Sharon ttok a step back and lifted her fingers to Tarja's delicate cheekbone, the stroked her cheek.

"I love you too, Tarja." Sharon whispered as her heart filled with love and compassion.

Then a realisation came over her like a heavy wave, and she clenched her fists. She took her fingers up to her own lips and touched them. These lips that Tarja had just kissed... Were the same that had touched Timo's, Tarja's own brother, the same day. Suddenly Sharon felt disgusting, and hated herself. She didn't know what to do. Should she tell Tarja? Or would Tarja reject her? 

"Sharon, sweetheart... What is the matter...?" Tarja smiled sweetly and stroked Sharon's forearm slowly, as she saw her smile fade away. Sharon recoiled.

"Don't touch me!" Tarja stepped back, her eyes wide in disbelief. "I... I don't deserve you. The way you love me, touch me so sweetly... I don't deserve it. Any of it. I don't deserve you, Tarja."

"Sharon, calm yourself." Tarja whispered sweetly. "Of course you deserve me. You are the most wonderful and loving person I know... What has gotten into you all of a sudden...?" She sat down on the bed, softly pushing Sharon to sit next to her.

"You have no idea what I've done..." Sharon said bitterly, as Tarja straightened up. "Before I saw you this morning, I... (she breathed in.) I was in the gardens with your brother, Timo. And I... We... We kissed." She let the last words out as a tear rolled down her cheek. 

Sharon's heart was beating fast, and she had trouble breathing. She awaited Tarja's reaction, scared. When there was none, Sharon shook her head and turned away. She felt Tarja's soft hand on her shoulder, and turned her head to face her. Before she saw it coming, she felt a small kiss on her lips.

"I don't care. I don't care that the lips I just kissed have been touched by another, were it my brother. All I care about is your happiness. So don't ever say that again, because you do deserve me, and much more. You deserve the world." Tarja smiled softly.

Sharon didn't know what to say. She simply smiled, wiping her tears.

"Thank you."