Star Wars: The Deadly Virus

Chapter III

The two Jedi and R2-D2 made their way to a nearby outpost to buy ship parts. There they met a red alien with a large nose named Gwatto.

"I do not accept your Republic credits from you Jedi."

Obi Wan tried doing a mind trick on Gwatto, but it didn't work and Gwatto said in his raspy voice "I'm a Toytarian. Mind tricks don't work on me. Only money."

"So you've dealt with this before."

"My cousin has. He met a jedi on Tattoine who tried pulling the same trick so he could get a ship part. Ended up losing his slave and his pod in a bet later on."

Obi Wan's face suddenly lit up. "Qui Gon."

"Yes. And you be gone from my presence."

"Meesa want to know more about this Jedi yousa met."

"We don't have to Jar Jar. You met him once."

"Really, Obi? Was it Ani?"

"No. It was Qui Gon. Weren't your long pink ears listening?"

"Nope."

"Great. Just what I need on this expedition."

Obi Wan started having flashbacks to when Qui Gon had first met Jar Jar.

"Things were so much easier then."

The two Jedi headed off to another outpost. This one had clone troopers at it.

"General Kenobi. How nice of you to join us" one of them said.

"Our ship crashed. I need parts for a new one."

"Well it just so happens our ship crashed too. We're stranded here."

"Do you know where I can get another ship?"

"No. We've lost all communication. Why are you here anyway?"

"Master Yoda told us to investigate the food supply. Told us it had been tampered with badly."

"The food supply is fine. We just checked it this morning."

"Check it again. And keep it checked."

"Yes sir."

"Jar Jar. We are going to investigate this planet until there's nothing left to investigate."

"Okey day, Obi. You my best friend ever."

"Great. Just what I needed on this expedition."

"Kenobi! We've spotted a masked man nearby. He may be the Sith you are looking for."

"Alright. Get your squad. Go patrol the area and eliminate the attacker."

Suddenly a tree fell down and Jar Jar fell off of it.

"What are you doing?"

"Meesa got the masked man."

"How did you knock over that tree, Jar Jar?"

Jar Jar stared at them and then started laughing maniacally. Suddenly his voice changed to a deeper one. "Meesa have mislead yousa. Yousa see. Meesa am the Sith Lord yousa have been after. Darth Binks."

Jar Jar pulled out a lightsaber and it turned red as a maroon.

Obi Wan stared at Jar Jar with anger. "I should have known. But your stupidity made you an unassuming presence."

"A phantom menace if yousa want to put a name on it."

Obi Wan turned on his lightsaber. "I should have trained Anakin instead. There's no way he would have been a dark side person like yourself."

Obi Wan lunged at Jar Jar and they started aggressively dueling. The clones just stood by not knowing whether to get involved or not.

Jar Jar was surprisingly quite skilled with a lightsaber, having learned his powers from reading ancient scrolls. "Meesa am more powerful than yousa or the other Jedi combined."

"We'll see about that" Obi Wan said. He sliced off one of Jar Jar's fingers. "You won't be needing that."

"That's what yousa think."

They continued fighting. And that fight lasted a long time, until finally they both gave up, being quite evenly matched. But there was something that Jar Jar didn't count on.

"It's over Jar Jar. I have the high ground." Obi Wan did indeed have the high ground on this rock planet.

"What? That is not a rule. Yousa lost the duel."

"Have I?"

Jar Jar jumped up to where Obi Wan was, but Obi Wan sliced off his hands.

"And now I have won. Leave my sight, you pathetic waste."

"Aren't yousa going to be torn apart about meesa actually being a Sith?"

"No, because I don't care about you. You've annoyed me too much already. Now leave my sight."

"Obi? Is that really what yousa want?"

"Besides. Now I have a reason to kill you" he said, as he sliced off the gungan's head.

Suddenly, a hologram started flickering.

"Congratulations. You have defeated my apprentice. But will you be able to defeat the food supply?"

"What food supply? We've already switched it out. Your plot has failed, strange man in a robe that I don't know."

"I've failed."

"Now go head to whatever dark part of the galaxy you came from."