*Original Title (too long for Wattpad):
Stupid Samuel: the Unpleasant Encounters with Mona (the Girl Who the Natives Said He "Kissed", but Really Did Not, Only Possible in His Dreams)
A/N: Translations can be found as inline comments. Self-explanatory or translations indicated within the text will not be provided.
Stupid Samuel standing stark naked in the middle of a dusty road in the barrio where he was born, and whose inhabitants were superstitious enough to believe that he, a small innocent pygmy, had something to do with the changing of the seasons, and therefore, the rest of their lives, by virtue of reading some simple clouds that God could only move, was the last scene of the previous story.
Of course, the villagers, upon realizing their mistake caused by overzealousness, had since returned to collect their addled wits and their children from the council-funded escuela, the Universidad ni Cristo, — an institution they had no confidence in as their kids always came back with a more backward thinking than they previously possessed before they left.
What did one really expect to learn from old matrons with missing teeth and who were garbed in plumed gowns ransacked from road sales of a neighbouring town? Even the most pious seeker of knowledge among children could not have withstood the monotonous readings from books left behind by American turistas: "99 Ways to Cook Chicken"; "Getting Lost in Html Language and How to Get Out of It"; "Pepper & Spice: The Art of Seduction"—libros of no consequence to people like Stupid Samuel.
But it did not really matter if the confidence towards the village's only education system seemed pretty low: as long as their niños and niñas sat in their respective spots under the large oak tree, bringing their favourite tigers or road frogs, the barrio people would be happy to lead their own quiet lives exchanging observations and opinions about other townsfolk who happened to beat their spouses or lose their virginity that day.
One afternoon, for example, the talk was of Mona. The natives, made idle by irritability from the sweltering heat, were contemplating what kind of girl Mona actually was.
"A puta!" yelled the brown man through his yellowing teeth, a string of grass between them.
"This chica is a loco!" shouted the fat woman fanning herself with a banana tree leaf.
"Bobo! Idiota!" cried the girl's mother.
"Leche!" cursed the girl's father.
"Por favor!" exclaimed an old lady in her wooden rocking chair. "Someone might hear you!"
Mona's father nodded apologetically towards the house matriarch, who in fact was telling him to shut up, not because of the bad word he uttered, but because she was trying to sleep in her silla. Nevertheless, he's sorry for what he had said and for what had transpired, wishing it never did.
What actually took place was still a mystery. All they knew for certain was that *IT* had happened. Reports gathered from townsfolk ranged from a kiss being exchanged to a salacious act being committed. Either way, it involved Stupid Samuel, who seemed to be plagued by scandals.
"INDECENTE!" the Village Voice headline screamed.
"IMMORAL!" was shouted from the streets by eager pages, obliterating the necessity of a barrio newsletter, a periodico.
Someone was shaking his head and choked: "You know... these kids... they are not... so inocente anymore... as we want them to be... Ay caray! What has the world come to?"
YOU ARE READING
Stupid Samuel and Other Stories
Short StoryStupid Samuel is a ten-year-old boy who has a penchant for being naked, reminiscent of "Emperor's New Clothes." The village he lives in is typical of a small town with crab mentality, where townsfolk are quick to jump to conclusions and vilify indiv...
