playing with cards • bakugou x reader

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                                             ✩ What's the point anymore, I wonder ✩

Fifteen years.

That's how long I've been on the face of the planet earth for.

And I've hated every second if it.

I didn't ask to be here, yet I am.

My name is Matsuzaki Kumiko. At least, that's my birth name. I hate that name. Hearing it is like a siren constantly ringing in my ear. The reason I hate it? It reminds me of my past life. The one before this one. My 'new' name is (Y/N). I say 'new' because I've gone by this name since the age of four, the other one is practically foreign to me. I got rid of my old name, just like I got rid of my past self. This was the new me.

It's been eleven years.

Eleven years since I was abandoned.

I still remember it like it was less than minutes ago. Although I hate the memory, for the sake of the story I guess I'll share.

> > > > >

"Kumiko! I need you to hide, and don't come out until I come and get you."

I remember the scared look that was plastered on her face. The sounds of screaming and screeching entered the house through the windows. I ran up the stairs into a secret room hidden from the world, behind the wall. I heard the front door swing open, the sound of a sword or blade cutting through the air filled my ears. I could tell a conversation was going on, though I could not make out the words.

One final scream.

I can still remember it clearly to this day. It was implanted in my brain. At the time, I didn't know who scream it was. I stayed quiet, hoping whatever was happening would pass. After a while of hiding, I heard police sirens. Knowing and trusting the police I ran from upstairs towards my living room. A bunch of people in uniform ran in, arresting the villain. He had the sickest look of satisfaction on his face. He looked at me and mouthed 'you're next'. I looked around for my mother. While looking around I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around and meet eyes with the number one hero. All Might.

All Might . . . What an idiotic man he is let me tell you.

He asked if I was home alone. Stupid question, who leaves a four-year-old alone.

I told him about my mother, explaining in details what she looked like. My mother told me I could trust heroes. So I did. I put all my faith and trust into a hero. Only to be backstabbed. All Might told me about my mother's passing. I didn't shed a tear. Instead, I was filled with rage. How can people claim to be a hero if they can't protect civilians? All Might asked about my father.

Father. . . I didn't have one.

According to my late mother, he left us, that was when I was abandoned by him. And thanks to the man killing my mother, I was abandoned by her too. She promised to protect me, heroes promised to protect us, both were a disappointment. Having no other knowledge of any family members, that was when I become alone in this world.

Or so I thought.

While waiting outside for the Pros to decide what to do to me, I locked eyes with someone, hiding in the shadows. Curiosity got the best of me, I left the bench I was sitting on and made my way to the mysterious shadow person. He had blue hair, very dry skin, and only a few years older than me. Was I scared? No. With nothing left to live for in the world, I figured, whatever happens, happens. He smiled at me or at least tried to smile.

"I can help you, you won't be alone anymore"

And that's the story on how I met Shigaraki.

He took me back to his 'home' and 'guardian'. All For One gladly accepted me, and ever since that day, I guess you could say I was his daughter. Being only four at the time, I didn't exactly know what I was getting into.

At first, it was calm and peaceful. But when All For One got frustrated at me for not having a quirk, it became more hectic. Spoiler alert, I got my quirk at the age of five instead of four. It's called 'The Arcana'. I can summon and borrow the powers of the tarot cards. It took a whole load of training and memorizing in order to get the quirk under control. In All For One's eyes, I was powerful. He trained Shigaraki and I until we bleed, passed out, on the verge of death. All for his future plan. To kill the symbol of peace, All Might.

I don't hate heroes and I don't love villains.

I did a reading on myself once I understood how my quirk worked, I trust the cards and the cards told me I shouldn't try to shape my future, more so just let it happen one day at a time. And that's what I do. I do what I'm told and only go with the flow. Growing up, for the past eleven years I've gotten my hands bloody, I was a murderer, I was a criminal.

I was a villain, and from how I see it so far, I don't think that will ever change.

Every now and then I do wonder what It would be like to have a normal life. Living mother, trusting father, maybe even a sibling or two. But I can't let myself get lost in what can't be mine. I'm nothing more than a broken teenager, having my whole life planned, running from society and living life in the shadows. I know nothing else then this way of living. This is my life. This is my story.

                         ✩The only thing keeping me from happiness is this reality ✩

Word Count: 1004

Published: Thursday, June 6th, 2019