Sabina's Quest to Open the Portal in the Sun Pyramid

Chapter 2: Feelings of Sadness and Remorse.

Later the same night, I was lying alone in my bed feeling miserable. I touched and studied the Zeto Crystal, but there was nothing that distinguished it from a typical sapphire. I felt remorseful, depressed, and full of angst. My innocence had been torn away forcefully in the last few months. It had started with Joshuaäs damn party. I ignored my gut feeling that told me I shouldn't go, and I went. I ignored my gut feeling, even more, when I followed the drunken Joshua into his room to 'talk in private'. He had tried to force himself on me, and I had unleashed my powers on him, leaving him as a self-mutilated mental wreck.

But had I chosen the right path with Josh? Objectively it would have done less damage if I let him have me instead of resisting? I shook off the feeling. Alex had been infatuated with me for years, and yet he refused to have sex with me as he could sense that I was suffering, and he wouldn't take advantage of me. Regardless of Joshua's emotional state, he didn't have the right to do what he did!

My thoughts wandered to Yussuf, the suicide bomber who killed dozens of people and would have caused my death if it wasn't for divine intervention. Could things have been different if I had blasted him unconscious with a psionic blast as soon as I sensed his agitated state of mind? There was no way for me to know, and it didn't make sense to knock people unconscious when they were agitated, and yet the thought wouldn't leave my mind.

I thought of Jakub Kluger, the Mossad agent who murdered Dov Dorovitch in front of my eyes and was about to kill me when he was struck by lightning. I could have saved him and yet I left him to die. I decided his outcome with my actions, but did I have the right to leave evil people to die?

Most of all, I thought of Simona Fischbein. I had dragged her into a dangerous situation and brought her with me to the Templar Tunnels. There was no reason for her to come with me, and in the end, her contribution didn't matter. Yet I had willingly risked her life, bringing her with me to the tunnels. Although it was Ben Yehuda that had ended her life, I was complicit in her death, and it was something I would have to live with. I looked at the selfie we took, posing as tourists outside the Solomon Temple. She looked so beautiful, youthful, and innocent in that picture, and yet, less than an hour later, she was dead. As I cried myself to sleep, I promised myself to never again let an innocent die because of me.