Divided

Nine.

Whitney

Looking into the mirror, it finally had hit me that I'd be a mother of two. Maybe this was a blessing. Feeling completely useless for the past 48 hours, took an absolute toll on my body. I no longer could stay in my feelings. My husband left me something to remember him by, so it was a little exciting. Having your best friend gone hurt, and there's no lie about it. Thinking of Janet, I just hoped she was okay because I knew about her current mental health's issues.

I've been praying about this for a few weeks, as to asking Janet to come live with me. We've been  distant from each other, but we hashed it out and spoke about our issues. A lot has gone on with her and I know she's suffering on the inside. We both lost someone who meant the world to us, so we sort of could relate to that. Janet and I were close growing up. She looked out for me, and always helped me when I couldn't really speak to Toni.

Interrupting my thoughts my bedroom door opened, and appeared Janet. She had a smile on her face coming towards me, and hugged me. I sat on the edge of my bed and patted on the mattress, indicating for her to sit next to me. This is probably the perfect time for me to ask her to come live with me. I miss having my sisters around me, and the sisterhood was extremely broken. We've had our issues, but I feel like we always swept it under the rug, and never fully addressed it.

This was all rooted down to our beloved mother, who endured so much while she continued to provide for her three girls. In between us girls, she dealt with three stillbirths, and doctors had told her it was impossible to carry children. She was in an abusive relationship with our biological father, for years. She loved him so much, and even when he was killed, she still loved him. Our father did love us, but he didn't love himself. That feeling caused so much rage and anger, that he always lashed out on our mother.

He beat my mother terribly one time, to the point where she had reconstructive surgery on the left side of her face. Their relationship caused me to be afraid to love on my husband, and it took a toll on me, emotionally. I was tired of crying and I needed to get us girls together, just us three could have an organic conversation.

"I'm glad you came because I wanted to see if you're okay. I know yesterday was heated and unexpected, and just had to see where you were at."

She gently grabbed my hand, and started to cry. Maternal instincts kicked in, making me hold her as she sobbed. Janet's past was haunting her, as she tried to come to the terms of it. I was happy that she could confide in me, but it bothered me seeing my sister go through this. Toni is currently at her new home–so who knew if she would stop by mine.

"I'm not okay Whit, and I can't be happy. It's like everything or everyone I love goes. First Katrina and now Mom is gone. This is all too much for me." Janet poured her heart on through the crying session was doing.

"Like Mommy used to say 'this will pass', and it will, Janet. You've got a loving family that cares for you, even if we might not show it. This may be a little sudden, but I wanted to check in and ask to see if you'd like to live with me. You don't have to give me an answer right away, but I want you to think about it." Wiping her flushed face from the tears, she sniffles and nodded her head.

"Okay." Janet spoke.

"You'll think about it?" Nodding her head, she sighed.

"No. I'll live with you, but under one condition...I get to spend time with my nephew." Smiling at the fact that she wanted to spend time with my Morgan, but I felt like it was time to tell her about the baby.

"I'm glad you want to spend time with him, you have to spend time with your other niece or nephew." Placing my hand on my stomach, Janet instantly caught on to the news. She hugged me once more, and kissed my cheek. Noticing the tears, I frowned.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing at all. I'm just proud of you sis. It's been a challenging year, but you always keep a smile on your face. I just love you, Whitney." It surprised the hell out of me, but I am very happy that our relationship is mending.

"Thank you, Janet. I love you, too." I smiled, giving her a loving hug.