Grey

1.7

[may 28th 2019]

Dear Grey,

I know you didn't want me to tell anyone, but I could see the way you were breaking and you didn't want me to help.

"Why? Why would you do this?" You scream at me, tears streaming down your face.

"You need help." I reply simply.

"No. I didn't." You protest.

"Yes, you do." I say more gently.

You shake your head. "I-" you start, but sob instead.

I hug you, trying to pull you away from your inner demons. Their clutch on you is too strong.

"You can't keep bottling things up Grey." I say softly.

"I-I know, I know. I just- whenever I talk about it I feel like a f-failure. I feel like I've failed somehow."

"You haven't. You won't. I don't know how else to help you."

"I just," you take in a deep breath. "I just want my life to be perfect. You sit down on the bench.

I sit down beside you.

"Nothing can be perfect." I state. "There will never be anything perfect, apart from what people declare is perfect. Just-" I sigh. "Just talk about what you're feeling. I'm here for you."

"I know things can't be perfect." You say. "But I'm trying so hard to make them as good as I can, and I just keep failing." You pause. I wait for you to continue.

"I couldn't keep my family together, and now I can't keep my life together, and I always thought that maybe if I just try a little harder, I can keep things together, but now I see that I can't." You rant.

I rub your back a little. You wipe away the last of your tears.

"None of that is your fault." I state, but I can tell you don't fully believe me.