TIPS FOR: 5SOS FANFICS & GRAMMAR

[9] slut-shaming

[9] slut-shaming

Okay, in case you're unaware:

SLUT SHAMING - the idea of shaming and/or attacking a woman or a girl for being sexual, having one or more sexual partners, acknowledging sexual feelings, and/or acting on sexual feelings.

Now, we all have slut-shamed — you might have even slut-shamed yourself. You should never slut shame a person. For one, it is none of your business what a person may do with another person. For two, explain to me: why is sex bad?

Sex is not bad. It's innate and it's not unnatural for someone to want to have it, or a lot of it. It's a basic human activity, just as talking is — in fact, as a species, we were having sex before we even developed the ability to speak. No one is at fault for being sexual, or liking sex. Think of your best friend who you've known for years. Just this year they confide in you that they have had a lot of sexual partners before. Does that suddenly make them any less of a person? Would you end your friendship with them right there because they're a "slut"? 

No, because being sexual/having sex does not make you any less of a person; wearing short clothing does no make you any less of a person. Like, seriously, wow, SKIN??Q!!

And it is important to know that you can slut-shame without directly calling the person a slut, but saying things that hint disgust or disapproval towards their sexual tendencies, like: "Yeah, well, you want to know about Martha? I don't know, she sort of sleeps with a lot guys."

Now, you're probably like, "But what does this have to do with writing?"

I've noticed that slut-shaming is very popular in fanfictions (and all sorts of stories, really) and this needs to stop. In fanfictions, we use slut-shaming as a device to create characters that we don't like.

For example, the supposedly bitchy girlfriend that Luke is dating when his best friend is madly in love with him is often described as wearing revealing clothing and being caked in makeup (which is not!! a!! bad!! thing!! because wearing makeup, not matter what amount, is your choice!!). There is underlying slut-shaming here. There also may be parts where the girlfriend may hint towards wanting to leave with one of the boys to be sexual and the main character is disgusted by this — and because they are the protagonist, the people reading will mirror her disgust.

There are other ways that slut-shaming is involved in fanfiction but I can't think of them as I usually stop reading a fanfiction when I see slut-shaming involved in it.

Think about it, when the boys have a lot of sex in fanfiction, we sort of applaud it. We find it attractive how they can easily get so many women. But for women in fanfiction, we immediately shame them and tell them they should calm down or close their legs. This isn't me saying that we should shame the boys, but recognize the double standard and stop it.

It's toxic to have slut-shaming regularly put in fanfictions and it makes people think it's okay; that a women truly should be shamed for acting a certain way. It's not okay.

Now, slut-shaming can be a part of your plot. As in, the character may start off as someone who is judged this way or judges someone this way and then develops to learn that this is not okay. You might have ignorant characters that would slut-shame a woman because, obviously, the world is definitely not rid of people who slut-shame and in certain situations with certain types of characters, it could  be unrealistic to not have it. BUT make sure to not spread it as an okay action. And definitely do not use it to antagonize characters. It's simply lazy characterization if the only bad thing about a character is that they're sexually promiscuous.

Please read all of this to understand — and let me clarify, slut-shaming is not involved with things like adultery (cheating). Cheating on someone doesn't make you a slut, but an unfaithful person. You don't cheat on someone because you're a "slut", but because you're unfaithful. Cheating is not about sex, but the fact that you were involved with someone who cared about you and became involved with someone else when the person who cared about you assumed you were in a monogamous relationship. Cheating is stupid, horrible, and not okay, but it's not slutty. Nothing is slutty.

if you like to read and learn more about slut shaming, click the external link :-) (i really recommend you read some, if not all of it! it's very informative on the matter of slut-shaming and delves deeper into the issue which is something that concerns every single one of us) i also realize this is a matter of personal belief so ignore if you truly disagree with this chapter.