Chasing Shadows

03 Salt Meets Wound

R E A G A N 

As soon as I got back from Alec's house, I noticed the silence. My house was hardly ever silent when my parents were home. Usually, their presence meant doors slamming, snide remarks, and screaming. But as I opened the back door, there was nothing. My heart skipped a beat and butterflies flapped around in my stomach. It was so unnatural I was sure I had walked into the wrong house.

"Mom?" I called, stepping cautiously inside.

"Living room." Her voice was sharp. This was normal at least.

Ever since I was small, my mother had been decidedly cold. Calculating. Nate told me she only got like that after I was born, and even though I knew he was trying to get a rise out of me, a part of me always wondered if it might be true. Wiping my suddenly moist palms on the front of my shorts, I stepped into the living room. My parents were sitting on opposite sides of the room. My dad's jaw was set as he glared at the floor. My mother looked at me, before motioning with her hand for me to sit on the couch. Nate was already sitting there with his arms folded across his chest. Even though he was twenty-one, he looked like a petulant child. I would have laughed if my heart wasn't caught in my throat.

"Is everything ok?" I asked, sitting down on the sofa. Nate scoffed at my question, but that was the only answer I received.

"You tell them." My mother looked at my father who outright refused to meet her gaze. As I looked at the man, I saw the same petulant child I saw in Nate. "Tell them what you did."

What he did do? I looked between my parents, confused. For a long while, my dad was quiet. I could see that he was chewing at the inside of his mouth. My mind jumped to all unpleasant conclusions. An affair? A second family? Murder?! The back of my neck flared with heat. I rubbed it, leaving a trail of sweat behind.

"Your mother and I have decided to get a divorce," he said finally, voice clipped.

I knew this was coming. It had been obviously throughout high school they were not like other kid's parents. They were not happy. I still couldn't help but feel like my heart shattered. Even though I was leaving in the fall, even though I knew this was better for everyone, I didn't want to see my parents split up. I guess that deep down, I always hoped that they would make amends. Fall in love again. It was just a naïve, child's fantasy though.

"Really, Chris?" My mother's eyes flashed angrily at the man who sat across from her. "We decided to get a divorce? We?" She laughed mirthlessly. Ice trailed down my spine at the sound. "Don't lie to them. They aren't children anymore. In fact, they're barely younger than Olivia."

"Who's Olivia?" Nate asked, looking at my parents. There was a strange expression on his face, one that I had never expected from my brother. He looked almost as sad as I felt.

"Tell them, Chris."

My father sighed heavily. "Olivia is...a woman--"

"A girl." My mother spat venomously. I could almost see a forked tongue coming out of her mouth as she spoke. "Don't pretend she is some divorcee you met. She is a child!"

My dad narrowed his eyes and glared at my mom. He continued through clenched teeth. "—who I met on my last deployment." I did the math quickly in my head. My dad's last deployment had been five years ago. "We're in love. And we want to be together."

I'd completed a whole stage of my life in high school and the entire time my dad was seeing another woman. He'd strung my mom along, strung all of us along this entire time. He contributed to the misery of this house by not leaving sooner.

"Wait." Nate looked at my dad with bewilderment in his eyes. "You cheated on Mom?" His voice rose in a pitched frenzy. Never in my whole life had I heard Nate so upset.