Don't Tell Mom- Demi Lovato

[53] Remember

CHAPTER 52- Remember 

Izzy's POV 

"Izzy... I knew that you were struggling with self-harm." 

I looked up, shocked, "What? How?" 

He smiled, "My sister did for a while, and I noticed all of the signs, plus when you fell asleep when we were watching movie I looked at your wrist." 

I was blindsided, "Why didn't you say anything?"

He shrugged, "It didn't change my feelings towards you, and I figured once you were ready you'd tell me. I didn't think it would get this far or was this bad though. I should've told you that I knew...I could've stopped this." 

He covered his face with his hands and I shook my head, pulling him into a hug. 

"Jake don't think like that. It wasn't anyone's fault but my own. I'm sorry." 

He shook his head and kissed my cheek, "I'm not going anywhere by the way. You're stuck with me for a little while." 

I giggled and nodded, intertwining our fingers, "I love you." 

He kissed me softly, "I love you too." 

~*~
Demi's POV 

"So how has your week been?" Kelly asked as Wilmer and I sat down in my therapist's office. 

"Well I'm sure Demi's told you, but it hasn't been our finest." Wilmer said, and I took his hand. 

"She has told me... Now is the time to get your thoughts out instead of bottling it up inside. Demi... say anything you want to, Wilmer don't interrupt." 

I sighed, and played with Wilmer's fingers. 

"I think it's my fault." 

Wilmer frowned, but kept silent as Kelly looked at me curiously. 

"I know everyone is going to tell me that it's not but it'll always be in my mind. If I was there for her... I would've been able to see the signs, or she wouldn't of had those thoughts in general." 

Kelly sighed, "Demi there could be many reasons why she feels this way. Yes, your actions might have contributed, but she also could be bipolar, we can do further testing." 

I smiled halfway and shook my head, "If she's bipolar it's because I gave it to her, genetics. I remember what the doctors told me when I got pregnant." 

Kelly nodded, "That's correct, if she is bipolar the odds are it wa in your genes, however being bipolar isn't something to be ashamed of.. you know that." 

I looked down again and nodded my head. 

"Wilmer what do you think of Demi's thoughts?" 

Wilmer took a deep breath, "I think that Demi would blame herself even if she was there every second of everyday for Izzy. Because I know her, and I know she always thinks it's her fault, and that she could've done something." 

I sighed, "That's not true." 

Even though I knew it was. 

"Wilmer what do you think about the situation?" 

Now it was Wilmer's turn to look at his hands, "I obviously am furious with myself, wondering if I'd just taken a bit longer look at her wrists would we still be in this position, but then I remember that it's not anything I could do. Izzy's mind works differently than other people." 

I smiled, remembering how I'd yelled those words at him just a week ago. 

"I think you're right, Izzy is definitely different on the way she processes things, however it is neither of your faults. Every child matures and develops differently and you guys did the best you possibly could. You cannot change the past, so learn from it." 

We both nodded and it was silent for a few minutes as Kelly wrote things down on her clipboard. 

"So... I want to know about this whole abstinence thing is working out. Is it helping or hurting?" 

Wilmer chuckled as my face turned bright red and I hid in his shoulder. 

"It's extremely annoying." I whined. 

I hit his shoulder as Kelly laughed, "I'm sure Demi sees your point, is that right Demi?"

I huffed and folding my arms, "No. I don't get it. I don't understand it, I think it's dumb, but I'll do it if it helps him. I just wanna know when it's over." 

Every time we climbed into bed together it was almost impossible to sleep due to the complete lust I felt. The worst part? The love of my life was right next to me and making it even more tempting, yet I couldn't do anything about it. I'm not gonna lie, a part of me was extremely hurt still by his actions. 

"I appreciate that nena, I do." Wilmer smiled, patting my arm. 

"Demi what do you find so frustrating and dumb about it?" 

I shrugged, "It just is." 

She leaned forward, "Don't shut it out Demi, talk. If not to me, to Wilmer." 

Taking a deep breath, I looked up into Wilmer's brown eyes for a breif moment. 

"It just makes me feel like... Like you don't want me like that anymore, like we're drifting apart because we don't have that closeness anymore." 

Wilmer's eyes widened in surprise and he glanced at Kelly who stood up, "i understand it's a bit awkward, I'll step out for a second." 

As she walked out, the second the door shut Wilmer pulled me close to him, his lips on mine breifly. 

"No nena, don't ever think like that. Of course I want you. I've never wanted anyone else in my entire life. Everytime I look up and see you with your glasses on reading emails or when you're make up is done and you're waiting for a car I can't help but think about how much I want you. Believe me when I say this is just as hard for me as it is for you. If I was thinking with my dick I'd never let you leave our bed, but I'm thinking with my head and my head. It's telling me that we want to be ready for this, to have nothing hidden from each other." 

I sighed and shook my head, "But I am ready Wilmer! I'm completely ready since the first therapy session and you were open with me. It's not us not being ready, it's you." 

Wilmer's mouth opened and closed a few times before he spoke again. 

"Then I want to ask you something... but promise not to get mad." 

I rolled my eyes, "You can always ask me anything, I'l try not to get mad."

He took a deep breath, "I want to renew our vows." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Comment and Vote! 

Follow me on twitter! @Lovatic_Chica

-Rachel