My Truth In The Form Of Poetry

Want To Be

When I was in Kindergarten, I wanted to be a 'Missonary Firefighter'. I had a clear as day image in my mind of walking out of a burning building with someone in my arms, turning my face towards her, and asking, "Do you know who Jesus is?" I'm not sure why I stopped wanting that; it was a nice thought. But I guess four year old me deemed friendships and coloring more important than being a hero.

When I was in the First Grade, I wanted to be just like my Grandfather. We were sitting on the porch, I was on his lap, when I told him so. He said, "You don't want to be like me, I've done too many bad things." When I asked him to explain, he said I'd understand when I'm older. I do understand now. He was a drunk, a cigarette addict, a pirate, and an abuser. I now strive to be the exact opposite of what he was.

In the Second Grade I wanted to be a Teacher.

In the Third Grade, a Librarian.

The Fourth Grade, an Actress

The Fifth Grade, an Author

Then I walked into the building my first day of middle school, first day of Sixth Grade, and I stared out into a sea of faces that didn't spare me a passing glance, and I thought to myself, I want to be noticed.

But it was bad. I was too ugly, too loud, too much, too weird, so in the Seventh Grade I decided my goal was to be normal. I stopped being everything I once was, but I wasn't me anymore.

In the Eighth Grade, I said I wanted to be dead. I stopped planning for my future because I thought my future was being six feet underground in my sunday best with scars on my wrist or a rope-burn around my neck. But when I had to stop my best friend from doing the same, and I realized the only future I wanted was life.

Now I'm a Sophomore in high school, and I am a poet. It's mind boggling, writing this out, when this time last year, I thought I wouldn't make it through the summer. My future aspirations are now becoming an ASL interpreter, and I'm slowly working towards that goal. But I think I've already become exactly what I've been wanting all this time.

Myself

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A/N: Hey guys, first instalment of my Poetry Book. I know this one got pretty deep pretty fast, but that's just my poety style. I have a lot of emotions that I keep bottled up, and I feel like my only release is writing. I hope you enjoyed, please Comment, Vote, and Share, because it would be greatly appreciated. Ciao, -Liberty-Belladonna.