I'm Dying For You (Narry boyxboy fanfic)

Chapter 13 - The Final Chappie!

Chapter 13 - The Final Chappie!

Niall's p.o.v.

It has been three days. Harry still hasn't come back. Louis tells me he isn't okay. Liam leaves when I mention his name and Zayn just tells me to think about something else. I am worried about him. I didn't mean to upset him. He probably hates me now. He does hate me. He said it himself. I am a horrible person.

Liam and Louis had just left and Zayn hasn't been around for hours. I tried to take a nap. I just wasn't falling asleep. I haven't been able to sleep with the guilt. He deserved someone so much better than me. Someone who he could have longer than a couple months. Earlier the doctor came in and told me that I would most likely not make it through the night unless there were some miracle. I was ripped from my thoughts by the door swinging open. I acted asleep.

"Niall..." It was Harry. "I am so sorry. I miss you. The doctor told me you were doing fine. I don't believe him. He said two to three more days. I know you are asleep and can't hear me but I have to talk to you. I haven't stopped crying since I yelled at you. I am sorry. I still love you. I can't live without you." He paused

"Last night I read a page from your journal. It almost killed me. I never knew what went through your head. I hope you don't mind but I took out the page. I put it in my wallet. Can I read it to you? Okay here I go." Harry mumbled. I knew what he was talking about.

"It says:

Dear journal... Diary... Whatever.

It's me Niall again. I haven't been writing for awhile. Sorry for that. I finally have Harry. He means the world to me. I can't bring myself to tell him about my condition. I am getting worse. I feel sicker everyday. I don't have long. I regret not getting treatment. I am going to miss Harry and the others. I feel like they are going to hate me for leaving them. I don't want to die. If I could tell Harry how I feel the only thing I would say is 'I'm dying for you'.

That's all you wrote. Niall I know you are ready but please don't leave me. I am not ready to lose you. I love you and I take back everything I said about hating you. You are the most important thing in my life and without you there is no me. I cannot continue without you. Again I know you can't hear me but maybe. Just maybe your unconscious mind can hear me. Please. I love and miss you."

With the last sentence he got up and left. I hated hearing the sadness in his voice when he spoke to me. I feel like I disappointed him. I can't keep hurting him. Not him, not the others, not anyone. I think about this for a long time. I don't want to die. I never wanted to die. But I have to. It is the only way to stop hurting people. There is no escape.

I try to get my mind of things. I can't keep thinking about this. I ring the bell they gave me when I needed something. The nurse comes in. She is quite pretty. I ask her to grab my guitar and she does. She starts to leave.

"Wait." I call. She stops and turns to see me. "You wanna stay with me?" She nods and sits in a chair with a little smile across her face. I was debating on a song to play. There were lots that I knew but none of them sounded good for the moment. I could play just about anything on my ipod but none of those songs meant anything. They all brought back bad memories. Finally I decided on one that described my feelings right now. I strummed the first few notes.

Shock, horror, I’m down, lost, you’re not around

There’s a lump in my chest that sends cold through my head, and

My mind shuts sound out

I’m on auto-pilot, and my tongues gone silent

Just switch it off and lay it down