Lennox never imagined that her life would turn out this way. Or that one night could lead to so many events that would change her and her sons' lives. She never imagined going from rags to riches or in her case rags to leather. Or finding family and...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Lennox barely slept through the night. She kept tossing and turning, trying to get comfortable, but her thoughts and memories made sleeping impossible.
She felt restless and anxious about revealing so much of herself at once, but she knew she had to put herself out there if she wanted answers to her questions. If she wished Tig to be honest and open about not only his past but also the club's past, then she would have to relive her past and open Pandora's box.
Keeping her memories and emotions locked up wasn't healthy, and they tended to slip through when she least expected them, too. But that was her coping mechanism: locking everything away and pretending everything was fine when, in reality, it wasn't. So, she hasn't allowed herself to let the past go and move on entirely.
Her childhood had once been great, but the happy memories were all erased. All that was left were the memories of her mother using or bringing strangers home. Her mother neglected her to get her next fix. Her being locked in the small closet in the hallway led her to have panic and anxiety attacks when in small spaces.
Her rape had left her with a fear of men that she had slowly overcome but not entirely. She was still distrustful; if truth be told, she tended to flinch and jerk away whenever she was grabbed, or a male would get too close.
Sex wasn't pleasurable for her because all she could think about was how she hadn't enjoyed it the first time, and the fear she had felt crept back during those intimate moments. Something Gavin's father complained about. Even though she willingly slept with him, it was far and few times because she didn't enjoy it. She couldn't when all she thought about was her fear, and flashbacks played back in her mind. All she could do was lay there, her mind somewhere else until the act ended.
It didn't help that Gavin's father didn't try to help her get over it or be gentle and patient with her. He tended to be rough and a little forceful to finish and reach his climax before she changed her mind and stopped him. Tending to not look at or take her on her stomach instead of her back. He just took it, but he didn't give it. So, she never honestly had a pleasurable experience.
To her, sex wasn't only not pleasurable, but it was just a task that she was supposed to perform and do, willing or not. It was something that she had to do.
Hearing noise from the hallway, she looked at the clock. Realizing the early hour, she knew it was her father starting his day, her boys still in bed sleeping.
Rolling onto her back, she sighed, keeping her gaze locked on the ceiling and gathering the strength and courage to get up and put herself out in the open, uncovering her dark past while getting ready to have her father look at her differently. Only it wasn't just her dark past coming to light. She would be learning about the club and her father's past. A past that wasn't so great, but unlike her, he had faced his demons and moved on. She hadn't, but she was about to.
"You're up early," Tig said, looking over his shoulder as he watched her slowly and nervously enter the kitchen.
"I couldn't sleep," Lennox confessed, not making eye contact, reverting to the scared little girl she once was. "I need to talk to you, though."
