Nikki Sixx Imagines (complete)

losing him( done)

I screamed and cried as I collapsed taking Tommy down with me who was over for a visit.

"I am so sorry," Tommy said as he held and rocked me as the news showed the medics rolling Nikki out on a gurney before they showed a picture of him with his name year of birth and year of death.

I cried and grasped Tommy's shirt as I soaked it with my tears ignoring the phone ringing.

"Let me get that for you," he said

I let him go and gripped the pillow before I heard him talk on the phone.

"Hey I have to go, ok I will call and check on you," he said then walked out.

I slowly stood up and turned the tv off before I made my way upstairs and into our room. I sat on our bed and grabbed his pillow bringing it up to my face and held it close as I closed my eyes and cried my heart out.

I lost the love of my life, my world, my everything. all due to his addiction to drugs, I had hoped I was enough for him and that he would just drop the shit and fuck me when he had the urge or need to shoot up and do a line. But I wasn't and now his addiction took his life.

I loved him and I will always love him no matter if he is here with me or not, he is all I could ever want or need in my life and now that he isn't in my life then I will go on without anyone to fill in his place. Which would never happen, I was too in love with him to go through it all again. and it would never work, I was too ruined for anyone else. My body only craved Nikki's and will always crave Nikki's.

I laid on his side of the bed and cried myself to sleep wishing he was not gone and was in bed holding me telling me that he was here and that I didn't lose him.