First Kiss

26

I don't get it, my mind groans as I sink into my pillows. I had spoken of my mother to Caleb pretty neutrally, which is weird because most of the feelings I thought I had towards her are...not neutral. 

It was weird, I guess. In the moment I didn't feel angry, talking about her. Her new life, new house, new fortune, new success...it had brought a subtle pain. A strange ache in my heart that was easy to mask. It existed, though. It existed because of knowing that she isn't here to bring our former family back together again. If anything, she's here to say her final goodbye. Or maybe she's here to make amends and promise to see me more. Whatever it is, though, I can't bring myself to let her in just like that. It's too much to ask of anybody.

Still...she has to care for me, right? I mean, I'm her daughter. To think I had everything I could ever want before she left, and I took it for granted.

I need someone to talk to. I haven't talked to Cole in a while, but I was the last one who texted to ask him how he's doing. He hasn't answered, so I call Lex.

"Hey," she answers. There's a lot of noise in the background.

"Where are you?" I ask.

"Party. Dude, you should come. I'm having fun. Caleb and Mitch are here too."

I almost laugh.

"You dragged Caleb to a party?"

"Hey, don't sound so surprised Bri!" he yells from the background.

There's a pause as I shift to sit up.

"Are you in bed?" Lex asks.

I laugh.

You know me too well.

"It's 8:30 PM. What are you doing?"

"Being a grandma," I retort.

"Oh my gosh, just come. I won't take no for an answer. Wear something cute."

"No crop tops," I sing.

She scoffs.

"Conservative little girl, aren't you?"

"Yes," I agree.

"I gave you one for your birthday. Pleeeease wear it."

"Hmph."

She sighs, and I sigh right back at her.

"Do you think this is a good idea?" I ask her honestly. "Me? At a party?"

"Aw, come on Bri," Caleb says. "You should come."

"Yeah, shouldn't we all hang out together now that Caleb's here?" Lex pushes.

I pause. Since he's there, it can't be that bad.

"Fine," I give in. "Where's it at?"

Lex gives me the address, and it's literally a few blocks away from me. I have to change out of my pj's now (sadly) and I choose an outfit. After way too long, I decide to wear the black ribbed crop top that Lex gave me and baggy jeans with a belt. As an outer layer, since it's kind of cold, I wear an oversized grey hooded zip-up.

Something is off.

I quickly send a picture of myself and send it to Lex with a text of What should I add?

So this is what teenagers worry about...I think to myself. I've been a worrywart about appearance since last summer, but it still surprises me to what lengths I'll go to make sure my outfit looks even better than originally planned. Lex is better at those special touches, while I'm better at setting the foundation of the actual outfit.

Her answer is brief and filled with bad grammar. 

mascara white af1s and a brush ur hair hurry up imy!!

I can't help but laugh to myself and obey. While I have my phone out, I also text Cole.

u okay?

Even though that was the last thing I asked him a few days ago, I have hopes for tonight. 

No response still.

I guess he still needs more time. It makes sense. I tell myself this as I head to the party.

--

As soon as I walk in I'm pleasantly surprised. The music isn't too loud, at least, and the DJ actually has taste.

"Hi," the girl hosting says, smiling. "I'm Haley!" 

She's super adorable, with dimples on her rosy cheeks and a small spray of freckles. Her short hair is a dark brown, her eyes only slightly lighter.

"I'm Brianna," I say.

"Ooh, Brianna. The one from the drama class. Love your outfit!"

I nod.

"Yeah, thanks! You look really cute, too!" I'm smiling and responding, but my mind stays fixated on the drama comment she had made.

That's what I'm known for now?

Haley continues.

"We have tons of food, and I'm not sure if you got the invites, but there's a pool outside. Nobody's in the pool but they're all in the jacuzzi. If you're not into that then the living room's that way, and the dogs are in there too. Well, only two of them because the other two get awfully shy when there's a lot of people."

Wow, she gave me a lot of information. I like her.

"Yeah, dogs can get like that," I say. "Thanks for hosting. Your place is amazing."

She nods her thanks and then excuses herself to refill the punch.

"Sick party, isn't it?" a voice says behind me, wrapping her arms around my waist. She laughs as I stiffen from the sudden contact before I turn and laugh with her. 

"I got you," she teases me. "You really are such a prude." 

"No, I just reacted to how anyone would with being scared from behind." She rolls her eyes.

"You know what, at least you're here." She seems slightly exasperated. "You should really do this more often. I mean, you're almost eighteen." I look around the room. 

"Yeah, it's not too bad at these, I guess. Music is a great volume, nobody's screaming, and none of the kids brought alcohol."

Lex nods.

"No way that's actually true, but keep telling yourself that."

I sigh, smiling despite my disapproval of underage drinking. Caleb steps up next to Lex.

"Hey Bri," he says, his hair slightly damp.

"Jacuzzi?" I ask. He nods, laughing.

"It was fantastic," he tells me. I don't doubt it. Hot tubs are pretty nice. I feel my phone buzz, and it's my dad.

Meeting up with your mother tomorrow. I don't expect you want to sit in?

No, no. It'd be too much. Ask again in twenty years.

no thx.

Cole still hasn't responded, which worries me until I spot him alone outside. Caleb follows my gaze.

"Is that--"

I nod.

"Cole."

Caleb has always had this sixth sense of knowing when a person is feeling down or going through hard stuff. He's always there for them, but he also knows when to leave them alone.

I don't have that, so I walk out without knowing whether Cole wants to even see me or not.

Soooo...author's note guys. Next chapter will be up by tomorrow. I already have it all written but I want to have a couple filler chapters for suspense! Mwhahaha, I know so evil lol. But seriously, it'll be up before you know it so enjoy this filler chapter of Brianna being a dork at a party (haha me) and needing her friends to make sure her social status doesn't die or anything.