Chapter 13

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I stayed in bed what felt like days. Skylar stayed with me. My phone went off, but I didn't answer it. Skylar decided to answer it. A smile beamed on her face. "Yes. We'll be over soon. Thank you." Sky looked over to me. "We can go see Melody."

I turned to face her. I nod without saying a word. I sat up and Skylar left for me to get changed. I was weak from the lack of food. When I was ready, I headed downstairs. Skylar had her keys in hand. The day was cold and gloomy. Snow was still covered on the ground. We walked to Skylar's car and got in. I got in the passenger seat as Skylar slid into the driver's side. She pressed the button to start the car. I rested my elbow on the arm rest on the door. My head rested on my balled-up knuckle. I felt Skylar's hand graze mine. I faced my palm upwards and wrapped my hand around hers.

Something about it soothed me. I sighed.

"Jay?" Skylar broke the silence.

"What's up?" I asked, not looking at her.

She let out a deep sigh. "I know this is probably not the proper time to say this, but I think you need to get help." There was silence. "Your mom and I are starting to get worried. We can see the cuts on your wrist. You know I love you. Something tells me there is something deep down going on."

I didn't know what to say to that. I just stayed silent.

"Jay," Skylar said. She sounded defeated. "I want to help you. I'm scared you're gonna do something again."

"Nothing's gonna happen." I said flatly. No emotion left my voice.

Skylar decided to start making our way to the hospital. An awkward tension filled the air. Skylar turned the music up on the radio. I just let the music take over. It's gonna pain me to see Melody. Because I didn't get there in time to stop Nelson. I could feel my stomach turning into knots. Guilt was slowly eating away at me. A stray tear fell down my face. I wanted to break this silence. But I couldn't find my voice.

The sky was grey with overcast. It was cold. I felt the car come to a low idle. Skylar turned the radio up a small amount. It helped ease up some of the tension. "Can you save me before it's too late" the voice sang through the speakers. Something about that line hit close to me. We eventually made it to the hospital. A sigh escaped my lips. I wasn't ready to see Melody. The sound of Skylar's car door opening broke me from my thoughts. I feel as if I've been to this hospital one too many times. And I'm hoping I never have to come back after this. We walked to the front desk and asked for Melody's room number. After a quick search, the lady pointed us in the right direction. We thanked her as we left.

We had to take the elevator up to the second floor. My heart rate felt like it's running a mile a minute. My palms got sweaty as I anxiously waited for the number to change.

"Jason?" I heard Skylar ask. I looked over to her. "You okay?"

I nod without saying anything. I wiped my palms on my jeans.

The number changed as the elevator shifted. I suddenly heard my phone go off. I ignored the text as I silenced my phone. I kept thinking that each door was one door closer to Melody. Why was it so hard for me to see her? I was too afraid to come face to face with her. Not after what happened. That night has replayed in my mind on so many sleepless nights. Skylar stopped when we reached Melody's door. She knocked as someone called from the other side.

Skylar looked at me and then entered the room. The man stood up.

"You must be Jason." He said. I watched him hold out his hand. "I'm Carlos." A small smile formed on his face. We shook hands.

"Nice to meet you." I said, trying to show any kind of emotion.

"I would like to say thank you. The doctors were able to get her help just in time." Carlos looked towards Melody.

"Do they know what happened?" Skylar asked.

I drowned out the conversation. I looked towards Melody. A gut-wrenching feeling overcame me. She looked peaceful to say the least. But she would be dead if it wasn't for me. Nelson ruined this girl's life. He ruined mine too. But Melody was already working on moving forward. Unlike me. Which kills me. It was my fault she got dragged back into this.

As Skylar was finishing up her conversation, I was snapped back to reality.

"Just let us know if you need anything." She said with a smile.

"I will." Carlos thanked me again.

I made my way back to the door and left. Skylar came out a few moments later.

"Jason!" She yelled. I didn't stop. "What's wrong?"

I stopped dead in my tracks and turned to face her. "It should be me on that hospital bed. Not her!" I pointed towards myself. "They want me." I could feel myself shutting down. "It's my fucking fault." I said with a tinge of anger in my voice as my voice got calmer.

"It's not your fault." Skylar tried to make me feel better.

"But it is. If I answered those damned texts, this could have been prevented. They shouldn't have gotten her in this. They used Melody to get me to see them. So there. It's my fault."

Skylar just stared at me. I could see the look of guilt on her face. I walked towards the elevator. Skylar followed behind me. It was hard reading her facial features. She looked saddened yet not at the same time. I felt horrible. I would have never acted out like that to her. And now the ride feels like it's gonna be long and full of tension.

Immediately when I got home, I grabbed my keys. The temperatures were dropping, but that didn't bother me. I decided to drive to the one place where I used to go to clear my mind. It was the only place where I felt safe.

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