Winged

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Harriet

Miko just stares at me, his upturned mouth open in a hurt expression, feline eyes clouded. I stare back as the silence stretches between us, condemning where it used to be comfortable. From the other end of his home, I can hear Jackie erupting into an argument and something smashes.

I know his answer before it leaves his soft lips, but I didn't know how much it would hurt.

"I can't come with you,"

I. Can't. Come. With. You.

He knows me. In our time together, I've told him more than I've told anyone else. I've shared what I haven't even shared with Jackie. Miko knows how those words tear at me, force me to make my impossible choice.

Mage help me.

It would be so easy to stay here with him forever, to build a home in this place. This haven, where we get properly fed, adorned with gifts and allowed to live happily and freely. I saw a future family here with him and Asha and Aya. Where my age didn't defy me, where my wings didn't defy my and where we could be free to love.

But no matter how much I tried, my two families could never fit together. Fate just hates us. How would I manage to get my entire village here, to convince Anna to stay? She wouldn't, and I... I can't abandon her. Not when she's been left by us so many times. And Rin. The bitch left her too.

And Hali needs my help.

"I can't stay with you. You know I can't stay," Sadness boils up inside of me. I can't stay with him. He can't come with me. But he could come with me. He could leave here with me, and I could take him home, he could meet my family. They wouldn't have to starve and forage like he thinks. They would be safe. We would all be safe.

But even that dream seems to shatter as something else shatters with a loud crash and Asha's yell rattles the house. He wouldn't leave, not now. And Miko would never leave without him.

"But you could stay, Hattie." Yes, yes, yes, I want to shout it out, but Hali. But Anna. Ma, Pa, and Rhem. Jackie. I can't stay, not without them, too. He has fewer people he loves. He loves me, Miko said so. So, he should come with me.

I hear Jackie screaming as much, what, four rooms away? Five?

Why can't I throw a fit? Why do I have to be the quiet sister, the thoughtful one, the one who makes sacrifices for other people? It's not like Jackie ever does. Why can't I make Miko feel bad for abandoning me?

I want to be loud.

"Do you even care? Is that all you think of me?" It's a big step, but I feel bad even as the words leave my tongue, despite my pride, and a grim satisfaction echoes in my mind, bouncing off my head like I said it, I said it. I can snap, I'm allowed to feel angry. If Jackie can, why can't I?

He's silent, I throw another insult into the mix.

"You're so pathetic! I wouldn't miss you, nobody would," Lie, lie, lie.

But I see his perfect face again, and my anger seems to dissolve at his. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, no, no, I didn't mean it, I take it back.

Miko is quiet and calm, even though angry bubbles seem to boil under his pale skin. I don't want him to hate me. Maybe I could have come back for him, maybe Miko would have accepted me, loved me again. Not now. His voice breaks in the middle of his sentence as the tears eat away at his eyes, falling before he can blink them away.

"Pack your shit and go. Get the fuck out of my sight,"

It hurts as if something heavy has whacked my chest, pushing me back and even though I had it coming for me my eyes well with heavy teardrops. (Actually, they're quite light, but that's beside the point.) Before I leave, before I even pick up the small bag packed of all the things I'm taking, I lift the vase off the nightstand and staring into his eyes blankly, I let my grasp loosen and shatter the ceramic on the wooden floor under our feet. A shard nicks my toe, drawing a line of blood.

I storm off the balcony and out into the cavern, flying out and through my tears before another word can pass between the two of us.

It feels good to smash something, but not good enough to counteract the loss that's consuming my heart.