You're Always You

Chapter Fifty

Lydia Petrov

Today was a long, long day.

Lydia didn't anticipate calling Richard and breaking up with him. She didn't plan on the pain that she would be feeling from doing that. Nor did she plan on... kissing David.

Rather, him kissing her... more than once.

...And her liking it.

In a way, it felt wrong. Lydia was so firm with Richard on the boundaries. On what she was and wasn't allowed to do with other men given her career as a stripper.

Kissing another man wasn't something allowed on her list.

And even though Lydia knew that she wasn't bound by Richard's rules anymore. That she could do... anything she pleased with David if she wanted to, she was still conflicted a bit. Conflicted on getting into a relationship so soon after and conflicted since the rules she had seemed less like rules and more like built into her.

So, in a way, Lydia was trying to... fight that. She was trying to break those rules from herself. And even though she didn't want to lock in completely on having a relationship with David, she was still using him somewhat to free her mind from these rules.

Lydia felt bad, but David certainly didn't seem against the light kissing and cuddling. He didn't seem opposed to her leaning against him or even talking about Richard while quite literally leaning against him. Primarily because talking is what she needed at the moment.

However, given her new status as a single woman with no job, Lydia also had to come to terms and focus on her future. Though being with David sounded nice someday... she also couldn't ask him to do some of the things that she was thinking.

Including...

"...I'm thinking about moving out of New York." Lydia mumbled against David's side after dinner. She kept her arms crossed over herself and gave a soft sigh.

To Lydia, moving seemed like... the best option. She wasn't proud of having been a stripper or walking around parading herself like she had been one before. Lydia didn't like frequent customers of the club finding her and calling her Bambi. Touching her.

Not to mention, the thought of running into Richard sounded... terrifying.

Even though Lydia did love New York and all that it had to option, leaving the big apple seemed like her best move. It seemed like the best idea... for her. To start somewhere fresh where she didn't have to be worried about someone knowing her history.

At all.

"....Like, New York City?" David mumbled against her, turning his head to look down at her cheek resting against his shoulder. "Or do you mean we should move to Jersey or something. I think upstate would be better than Jersey." David said, making a face.

Though, Lydia just stared at him while blinking her eyes a few times. "...You don't have to move with me," Lydia told him, shaking her head. "I don't want to uproot you. I just... I don't think I can stay here. I... don't want to run into Richard. I don't want to see customers that I've danced on. I just..." She shook her head. "I don't."

"Lydia." David said, causing her to lift up her head to look at him. "Do you want me to go with you?"

Humming softly, Lydia glanced down at her lap. She reached over to take David's hand on her shoulder and squeezed it lightly. "...I like being around you," Lydia admitted honestly. "...And I wouldn't be opposed to it. I just... I don't want to be the thing that takes you away from New York City. Your family is here." She pointed out.