You're Always You

Chapter Fifty-Six

Lydia Petrov

It was hard to hide sorrow and depression from someone she had been married to in another reality for twelve years. The moment David walked in through the apartment door, Lydia saw a bruise on his face. She would have commented on it, if David didn't comment on her first.

"What's wrong?" He said with a frown, stepping towards her.

Everything, truly.

Everything was wrong.

According to Loki, when they fell asleep tonight... things would be going 'back to normal' for David. And tomorrow, David would be gone. David wouldn't even be thinking about her anymore because he would be with the woman he really wanted to be with.

And Lydia would be figuring out the best way to take her own life without much pain.

Though, Lydia wasn't going to sit here and tell David that he was going home tomorrow. That Loki was here and gave her the choice to send him home. Nor was she going to tell him that she would be taking her own life tomorrow, even if he wasn't here to notice it.

No one would be here to... care.

Lydia knew she could've just left out the taking-her-own-life part and told him about going home. She could've told him that, but Lydia couldn't handle the thought of seeing him excited. Of seeing him wanting to leave her. Thrilled to be going home to that Lydia.

Leaving... this Lydia here alone.

A part of Lydia wondered that, when he was gone, if the David in this world would be here. If she could... seek him out and see if she could still find that kind of happiness in him.

But, Lydia also had to believe that having two David's in the world seemed... impossible. She had to imagine that somehow, her David had erased the David that had originally been here.

...

Though, she supposed that it wasn't her David. It was... the other Lydia's David.

Either way, Lydia didn't want to spend either her last day alive or her last day with David depressed or seeing him thrilled to leave her.

So, she lied.

"A character I liked in a television show died." Lydia told David, rubbing her elbows while leaning back against the couch. "What happened to your face...?"

"...Okay." David ended up saying, drawing out his words. Though, he continued. "I, uh... I ran into Dick."

...

Loki sent him to Richie?

"Are you okay?" Lydia said with a frown. She stood up and began to make her way into the kitchen, primarily to get a bag of ice. When ice was prepared, along with a few paper towels, Lydia made her way back over to David who followed her somewhat into the kitchen.

"This? I'm fine. You should see him." David said with a slight smirk and a soft laugh.

Lydia gave him a soft smile and brought the bag up to his face, lightly pressing it against his bruise. "I'm sorry you had to see him, sweetheart." Lydia mumbled. She hadn't really used... terms of endearment with him.

...But she would rather be able to do it now when she could before she couldn't anymore.

"I'm glad I did. Taught the fucker a lesson." David muttered, placing his hand on top of Lydia's which was holding the ice.

Slowly, Lydia nodded her head. She brought her lips up to his and kissed him lightly, watching him for a moment. Though she was trying to think of David, a lot of herself was trying to think of how she should be spending her last day with him.

"What would you like to eat?" Lydia instead asked, a smile on her lips as she shook her head, glancing away. "What's your favorite meal? I can make that." She offered.

"Hmm..." David started to say, watching her. "I dunno if you know this, but you make a mean chili."

Lydia smiled and kissed his lips softly. "Then I'll make you a mean chili." She told him softly before pulling her hand out from under his. "But be careful, my mean chili might bite you." She teased, then shook her head. "...God that is such a bad joke."

"I like your bad jokes," David said as he stepped over to the counter. The man leaned against the counter and gave Lydia a soft smile, watching her.

Smiling back, Lydia nodded her head and began to resort to taking out the ingredients in the fridge and pantry in order to begin making the dinner. Primarily to get her mind off of the sad fate that the end of the day would be bringing.

And throughout the entire day, Lydia did try to keep her mind off of what tomorrow would bring. She tried to keep it happy and light, intentionally talking to him happily and being positive.

Lydia purposely asked David questions about himself to learn more and to try to figure out his favorite things instead of her own. She learned some of his favorite foods, and made that for dinner. Lydia learned some of his favorite childhood stories he had to even some small details, like his favorite color.

Even though David was unaware of what tomorrow would bring, Lydia intentionally spent the day focusing on David. Learning about him. Doing things with him. Spending her moments just... being with him.

When it came time for David to go to work, Lydia had essentially begged him to stay home. Her excuse had been worry over Richie getting him at work and making things harder for not only him but the other girls. And though she boosted David's confidence by telling him that he could easily take Richie, she just wanted him to stay home and be safe.

...So he did, even though her intentions had been different.

Lydia just wanted every drop with David that she could take. Even though she knew that they both enjoyed movies, Lydia even ended up turning down watching something with him. Because, to Lydia, watching something with him was only going to kill time that she could spend talking to him.

Precious moments that she didn't want to waste.

Most people were never aware of when they were going to be dying. And even though David wasn't going to be dead, to Lydia it felt like he was going to be. And even to Lydia's own life, she knew it was on a timer.

The last thing she wanted to do was waste it on watching Sound of Music.

There were far more important things to her.

...And by the end of the night, Lydia was thoroughly surprised that she was able to keep herself together and not spend the entire evening sobbing. She knew that if she kept everything focused on herself, on what would be happening to her, that she would've cracked. Broken. Been crushed.

But instead, she tried to keep her thoughts on David. On how happy he would be when he woke up in the morning and was home. Away from... this reality.

This world.

Trying to keep her thoughts light and on the happy things coming to David, Lydia instead decided to do something that she... normally wouldn't do this fast. Despite having worked as a stripper, Lydia was still a modest person. She didn't just... sleep with someone on a whim - even if the person had claimed to be married to her for multiple, multiple years.

...But it was her last night with David, and she knew for a fact that he wasn't going to turn her down. So, she slept with him.

Lydia had never been so sad for the ending of sex in her life. Because she knew that the ending of that would imply the start of sleeping.

Feeling David's arms wrapped around her torso, pulling her back against his chest, Lydia felt... happy. She was happy because he was here and holding her. She could hear his breathing and feel his heartbeat. Lydia could feel the warmth from his body on hers.

Yet, despite that, Lydia could also feel the silent tears falling down her cheeks as he held her and slept. Because she knew that no matter how nice this moment was, in the morning that warmth was going to be gone.

And, eventually, so would she.