Controlee

6. TT

Rule 34: Everyone has to say goodbye sometime.

In the end, it wasn't until the evening was setting in that Otsuka got to her destination. First they had to have lunch, then she needed an actual UA uniform, then they discovered Otsuka didn't own a proper winter coat, and in the end it turned into this weird shopping spree and Yamada was too excited for anyone to shut him down. But at last, they arrived.

The sun was setting between the buildings either side, the left corner store which was once the cat cafe, now a cutesy library with a coffee machine that seemed to be doing well. On the right, the wedding shop still stood proud, the sunlight painting the angelic dresses in swathes of orange and glinting yellow while beside it was a stout restaurant that now sold only American food, despite the fact that the Chinese words were still pretty obvious under the English lettering.

Memories of the sketch filled her mind, watching red hair flutter with each deft stroke of her old friend's hand as he brought the scene to life with the sunlight that burned dead centre between the building rows. Otsuka could easily just superimpose that stunning image over the real thing and watch as people laughed in the cafe while kittens jumped onto their heads.

She smiled as she checked the roads before crossing to the lamppost. Aizawa and Yamada followed silently, seeing how caught up in her head she was— it didn't stop the blonde from pointing out the wedding shop again and nudging his husband. He received an elbow to the side and an eye roll before settling down and letting the ginger do her thing.

It was weird, standing there in the middle of the sketch, being able to look back and see where he was standing in his memory, in fact it was right where she'd been standing a moment ago.

Spurring herself into movement, her eyes caught onto familiar letters on the dead post beside her. There it was: 'TT' written in black spray paint, surrounded by a purple outline. She'd seen him sketch something similar multiple times. He really was quite the artist.

Her fingers latched onto the edges of a small section of metal that jutted out from the surface of the post. Normally when someone pulled out this section, they'd find tangled wires and a complex circuitboard, but fortunately, the post had been broken for well over ten years and nobody had bothered to fix it. When the cover swung open with remarkable ease, there was nothing but empty space beyond, almost like a small cupboard with a concrete surface at the bottom to keep anything from dropping into the electrical grid that it should really have been connected to. They really had given up on this lamppost, blocking off the bottom with concrete like that, she was surprised they hadn't just removed the thing.

"Um... Otsuka, what are-"

She slipped the letter in and closed the cover, turning back to the adults with an innocent smile. "Don't worry, it's empty, been like that for years."

It was hard not to see how suspicious both adults were. Yeah, she wasn't getting away with this.

"What did you put in there?" Aizawa inquired.

Not at all. "A letter." She may as well give them the truth.

"A letter?"

Otsuka nodded.

"You know that's not a postbox, right?" Yamada checked.

The ginger laughed a little. "Yes. It's not really meant to go anywhere," she admitted.

"Then how is whoever you sent it to supposed to get it?" Yamada thought it was a strange thing to do, it just seemed random. Understandably so. She probably seemed mildly insane to them right now.

"He's not really meant to," she answered.

This was getting all the more strange. "What do you mean?"

"He died," Otsuka explained bluntly, not planning to dance around the subject while people continued to walk by in light coats and gloves.

Yamada's eyes widened, his husband reflecting his surprise right back. "I'm sorry," Yamada spoke quietly.

Otsuka shrugged, taking a deep breath, "Everyone has to say goodbye sometime." She kept a soft smile on her face even as she spoke. "Thank you for bringing me here, it's lovely to see the sunset."

"You're welcome, do you want to stay longer or do you want to head back?" Yamada asked her gently, respecting her decision now that he knew why she wanted to come.

She sent one last glance towards the sunset and at the lamppost with her old friend's initials just as the street seemed to become strangely busy, a male in a hoodie and gloves accidentally bumped Otsuka's shoulder and immediately apologised. And then the sun finally dropped over the horizon, gone from sight. Just like that, the trapped moment from the sketch was gone, the moment was gone. "Heading back sounds good, thanks."

And so the letter sat there, it sat there for a while but not quite as long as one might expect. One day maybe, somebody would find it, open it up and read the heartfelt words of a girl called Kaos.

Dear TT,
I don't know how long your letter was hiding behind my radiator, but we both know it's been years. So I'm sorry my response is so late and that you'll never get to read this, but I guess this letter is more for me than you now.

I've got to say that, when I think back to what you said before you left, there is still some anger and resentment in me. Not to speak ill of the dead, but there have been days when I've hated you more than the people who thought I was some beast, but I think maybe, that I can forgive you now. For all of it. But thank you for apologising.

I also wanted to say, there are also days when I still miss you. And I found out why you got put in solitary that time you refused to tell me, you're such an idiot boy and I never asked you to do that. But thank you anyway, it was kind of you, you are a good person.

I actually have some really good news, I got cleared— which is how I got the letter to the lamppost, obviously— and I'm now going to UA, my dream school. I also happen to be staying with two of my teachers which is kind of weird but I'm doing my best not to make things awkward. They're also a gay couple, just in case you were wondering (this isn't exactly the place for an 'I told you so' but...). They seem really nice.

I'm really excited for my first full day of school tomorrow, it's a trip which sounds amazing. I hope that, wherever you are, you don't feel sad and you don't still feel guilty because I meant what I said.

No more apologies for ancient history, ok?
Your old friend,
Kaos

Ok this is the last of the chapters I'll be posting today. I think...

I'm still figuring out a posting schedule for this but I think it'll take over Tuesdays because I've almost run out of pre-written AU chapters again.

Anyway, I hope you've enjoyed the start of Controlee!

Nervous about commenting? Would you offer to let someone use a mug with your face on it?