When he was my man | Hemmings

02

Being miles away from the person you love was a painful torment I never thought nor dreamed to experience. 

as  time passes by it gets more and more painful  than I'd ever imagined.

The first month without him had been the hardest point of my life . I couldn't sleep nor spend a day without sobbing. I was miserable. I managed to go to school but nothing seemed to matters knowing that he's presence no longer be there. I attempted to make myself busy but it was hard to focused on anything when my thoughts bounced me back to him. I tried surrounding myself with our friends but all I got was an unwanted advice and sympathy stares.

I'd called him last week for the first time in a while. I knew it would cause me more pain but it was the only thing I needed to free myself from longing even for a short period of time.I was glad he picked up the first ring.his voice sounded much delighted compared to mine as I managed to control the sob that was threatening to escaped from my mouth. I asked him how things were going and he told me something about the song he's been writing.

He shared me all the happenings along his journey.He told me how all of them struggled to budget their small allowance on their first week . he told me how he endured to fit on a small bed and deal with Calum's loud snore  during the night and wake up the next day with the heavy pressure and nervous that was already weighing on their shoulder before they perform on stage.despite all of that, I know he's Happy and contented . I know for sure he's beyond proud and ecstatic on what they've been accomplished so far , fulfilling what they prayed from the very start. I was honoured to witnessed all their hardwork and their perseverance to go on despite the many rejection they'd encountered .

Luke was the most passionate and dedicated person I've  ever known . All his life,he only wanted nothing but to play music with his bestfriends, he wanted people to hear the song they created and performed infront of thousands of people although it involved me out of the picture.

That night,In the middle of  his enthusiastic updates , he'd asked me how was I.

"What do you do now that Im not around?"

I wanted to go straight and tell him how miserable I was without him.  that I'm not doing fine at all since he left, that my life was dull without him. I wanted him to know the life I live up to was nothing compared to the vibrant laugh I heard everyday but I stop myself before I could cause trouble. I had to ignore the excruciating pain and set aside what I truly felt , that's the least I could do because I know Luke. I don't want him to feel guilty and I don't wanna cause distraction even if it kills me.

"Same old,Same old"

There was an audible sigh against the phone And then ,he went again with his promised.

"I promised, I'll be back"

We spent the whole night picturing ourselves together in the future . We held each others promises that  non of us will ever give up and   will remain  strong whatever challenges we will  face. the distance was just a word and it will never kill the embers of love we have for eachother. We'll face everything together even though we're not together

" We can do this Leish , I love you"

" And I love you more Luke "